I am not an alcoholic, or at least I never thought that.
During the last 6 months, alcohol has caused my person to go from normal me, to this outgoing fun girl, to this crazy girl, that thinks the world is out to get them and is overly dramatic from screaming and crying to getting physical.
Normal me, is not shy but not that outgoing either. Today, I seen a video of me, getting up and dancing with Marilyn Monroe impersonator in front of thousands of people. I'm smiling, laughing, seem normal, and not drunk in the video. However, I was drinking, and remember nothing.
I literally remember nothing. Not who, where, when, why... Nothing.
Just shame the next day, after everyone was upset with me, and wanted to leave our vacation (for My Birthday) early.
Last weekend, I was out with my boyfriend. We had some drinks,I remember I was laughing and having fun.
Next thing, I'm laying on the floor at his house. According to him, while we were at bar, he walked away for a minute, when he returned, I was acting crazy, and so we left. Once we got to his house, He said I tried to leave, break up, told him he doesn't protect me, I apparently kept getting in his face, yelling, and he pushed me away. I realized what was happening once I was on the floor, in pain with a fractured shoulder. I do not remember anything.
There are a million other stressors that have entered my life recently, so I am not sure if this is causing, or????
I drink once a week.... This has never happened before. Normal tipsiness, like smiling and giggly... But def not arguing, fighting, and that outgoing. I am not sure what is happening to me...
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