I chose depression because my situation is borderline under that category. I feel a sense of sadness. My life has been derailed by forces I don't know due to stories that are not true to be poisoned in the atmosphere from one person to the next. My faith is my Higher Power, which is God. He has pulled me through, but people also need human flesh to help us get through our troubles.
My father recently passed my mom passed six years ago. They were both ill and older, so I can appreciate having them both in my life for many years. But there is an emptiness inside of me. I'm basically a loner, so I deal with situations alone. My family is supportive, and that is great. I envision myself running through a field to no end. Never had feelings of suicide, that is far from my thoughts. My life isn't where I want it to be. Having several falls over the past 10 years with several injuries on one side from hip to ankle has impeded my progress and my ability to find the right type of work. And this blood pressure medicine doesn’t help because it sends me to the restroom regularly, and that is a no no on any job. I’ve had part-time and temporary jobs, but not enough to draw Social Security at retirement age, so that’s a downer.
I feel like I am existing and not living like the man on “It’s a Wonder Life” How does one get through these feelings and do you recommend a book.
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Hi carame11,
I'm sorry you lost your parents and are fighting to keep your health at its best. I would say that given your circumstances, feeling sad is a normal human response. The solution lies in how you approach this-- you already found god, which is great! But you also need to find yourself and realize that your family members are people that love you and want to see you thrive. If they are giving you a helping hand, take it. If you meet someone at a grocery store, try the small talk-- I know you are a loner, but it doesn't sound like you want to be. Grieving support groups and other community groups may be helpful to you at this time.
Whatever you do, don't seclude yourself in your home--it's probably one of the loneliest places you can be in. Go for a short walk, sit at a cafe, enjoy the view at a park... all of these activities involve places where there are people around and where you can interact with others.
I hope you take a giant leap outside of your home and into the world where there are lots of people who will find your company pleasing.
Best Wishes,
Rosa
December 7, 2011 - 3:38amThis Comment
Thank you Rosa for those kind words. It is interesting your response was regarding stepping out and talking to people because today I saw this bus driver who always liked me, and I had been avoiding him. But today, something told me to talk to him, so I did, and it was okay. However, I am still at the point where I don't trust anyone because my experience is that they have an agenda. I appreciate your response.
December 7, 2011 - 7:25pmThat's great-- I'm glad you are making some progress... You don't have to turn into a social butterfly overnight, but talking to one person is certainly a positive step.
What do you mean by you not trusting people because they "have an agenda"? What has your previous experience been?
December 8, 2011 - 6:14am