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Depression and drugs

By Anonymous April 26, 2016 - 12:29pm
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Hi I just needed some advice ..
Not sure where to start? I'm at 19yr old female and I have depression and bipolar, I live with my mum and her boyfriend of 15years, my parents split up when I was a baby and from the age 3-8 I remember my dad always kidnapping my sister and I , court orders were to live with mum, but she's always been an alcoholic, when I was 11 my dad raped me and I didn't see him until I was 17 and found out he had cancer, I put aside everything and started fresh, my dad passed away 6months ago, I know my mum loves me but it makes me really frustrated because her bf is her number one priority all the time!! They both do drugs (weed, ice) I want to move out but I have no savings anymore because I always pay the bills and food shopping etc all there money goes on drugs, I want to start working again but after my dads passing not too long ago and my mum on so many drugs I get worried and upset, I know it's normal for people to pass away and I have to move on but if you have any advice it would be much appreciated !


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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thank you for reaching out to us and I'm sorry you're going through so much at such a young age.

My advice for you is to seek counselling for yourself as soon as possible. You need to focus on you and not your mom. She had her chances to raise you well and she choose drugs and alcohol. This doesn't mean she doesn't love you but right now she loves drugs more.

Work closely with your doctor regarding any medication you are on for your depression.

When you are ready, get a job and a room-mate and stop paying your mom's bills and start paying your own. Therapy will help you to remain strong and not feed her habit anymore. Remember that every dollar you give her is going to be used for drugs and alcohol. You cannot "fix" your mother - your only obligation is to yourself.

You have been let down very badly by those around you and have been sexually assaulted and deeply traumatized. Please make YOU the important one for once.

Hang on as much as you can until the healing process starts - ask a friend or relative if you can bunk with them for the moment and do all the housework and cooking as payment) and once you're ready, get your own place and keep your money for your own needs.

Any doctor can refer you to a good therapist who specializes in childhood traumas and rape. You probably have a lot of healing to do but you seem incredibly strong. Please get this in place as quickly as you can.

It is not selfish to focus on you - this is vital to your healing and you deserve every happiness in life. You were given a very raw deal and you need to be a priority.

Please keep us posted on life and stay strong. We're here anytime you need to talk.


April 26, 2016 - 1:00pm
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