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How to increase self esteem and self worth?

By Anonymous June 10, 2015 - 10:06pm
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I went on a vacation with dear guy friend and highly sexual 20 yr old who is mentally 12. She starts her sexual advances and he lets her. I get mad and have panic attack. End result the guy who drove and my daughter call the police, allow my daughter to leave with him but i get to stay and find a way home. On top of that my guy friend would rather have on the street than in his hotel room. I am devastated, suicidal and feel worthless.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thank you for your post. 

Please don't think about ending your life in this scenario - please reach out to somebody if these feelings happen again.

Is this 20 year old your daughter? If she is and she's 20, she is considered an adult and allowed to do as she pleases unless you  have some kind of legal authority on her.  We're not lawyers here so we don't have the advice you may need. 

I'm not sure what is going on exactly - is your "guy friend" the one with your daughter? Was he your boyfriend? We need more information so we can understand better-

We hope to hear back from you very soon-


June 11, 2015 - 5:29am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Susan Cody)

It was my daughter but she is nowhere near her age mentally. The guy was a guy I was dating. We have known each other for 15 years. I am , unfortunately head over heels for this guy. My daughter has one sexual assault, one where she was the preditor and the guy got charged. She made such sexual advances to her teacher that she had to be physically removed. A church refused to welcome her back after physically harassing a male pastor.
All this has brought myself deep shame and fear of what she will do. My daughter and my boyfriend leaving me stranded has crushed me, left me having no self worth or self esteem.
How do I heal? Can you forgive him (boyfriend )? How do i hold my head up?

June 11, 2015 - 6:42am
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon
So your daughter ran off with your boyfriend?

Healing takes time and you may want to have some counseling to help you know how to cope when this issue arises again, as they possibly win.

Forgiveness is done for you, not your ex-boyfriend and forgiveness is actually a choice. It might take time and that's ok.

Anon, your boyfriend abandoned you in a place away from home and took off with your adult daughter. I hope you're not considering taking him back - this isn't healthy. Forgiveness is one thing, repeating the same mistakes is another.

Your daughter needs professional help. She may have the mind of a 12 year old but she is hyper-sexualized and probably has some kind of sexual disorder. But since she is an adult, it's up to her to get help and she may not even think she is ill.

She may end up serving time for her sexual aggression but this won't help the issue. Intensive therapy will.

I wish you the best and please take this time to stay well away from your daughter and ex, to allow yourself to heal. Staying involved with them for now will not serve you well.


June 12, 2015 - 6:23am
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