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i am very insecure about my girlfriend relationship with me

By October 5, 2010 - 1:58am
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i am a male i dont know i want to ask this thing on this platform or not but i want
me and my girlfriend love eachther so much but the problem is that most of the time we have a fight because of my insecurities issues and this is because she a couple of time lies with me
i am also most of the time thinking about her what she is doing and if she start good time with some other guy also without my knowlege

she most of the time try to take me in confidence about her honesty but her attitude or i can say her friendly attitude towards guys and girls make me always suspecious about her

i dont want to lost her but i also want to be with her as i want her to be

plz undrstand my problem and help me to what can i do to have a good relationship

is this my falt or her??? that make me suspicious always about most of the girls and espically her plz ans me

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I agree with everything that Cary said. If you continue this behavior you will have a terrible relationship, and quite possibly lose your girlfriend. Your girlfriend is a different person from your past experiences, it's not fair to punish her for what others have done. I understand you have a heightened trust issue. You can work on it by reading self-help books, or undergoing counseling. You have everything to gain by learning new behaviors.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing, or if you need further guidance.

October 6, 2010 - 12:07pm

Hi Mehdi

So if I am understanding what you are saying, you don't trust most girls, and you especially don't trust your girlfriend. This is a problem. If you never trust anyone, they will often respond by not being trustworthy. Especially if you bully them about it. They come to resent that and decide to give you what you seem to be asking for.

I would dig into what it is inside you that has decided you cannot trust anyone. This is far more important than what your girlfriend is or isn't doing. You are obsessing on behaviors you imagine she is doing, and then distrusting her based on this fantasy. That is not healthy at all. You will lose her over this. No one wants to be treated that way.

Put yourself in your girlfriend's place. You tell her the truth, she calls you a liar. You have male and female friends, she assumes you are sleeping with all of them and wants to fight about it. Sounds a little ridiculous, doesn't it?

You are both entitled to friends of either sex, and you are both entitled to trust unless you are found to be dishonest. It sounds like you have a big trust issue that you need to work out to have a successful relationship. I wish you much luck and if you are able, I think counseling would be helpful for you. Trust issues are tough and can follow you through life if you don't get hold of them.

Thank you for writing.

October 6, 2010 - 6:05am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Cary Cook BSN RN)

ya you are right but i dont know how to control my suspiousiness
because my insecurities is due to my past experiences that most of the time or i can say almost every time with me i found girls flirting and lying which make me very uncomfortable to belive her i also try to frogive and forget policy but i cant its really difficult for me to belive and have a good trust on her

what i can do to solve this problem
plz tell
and thanks for last comment

October 6, 2010 - 9:25am

plz comment on this.............

October 6, 2010 - 3:26am
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