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im 45yrs old and was sterlised 9yrs ago,now im going to get married but my partner wants children

By November 18, 2011 - 1:35pm
 
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would i be able to get my tubes untied.i am also scared aswell.please could you let me know
what could i do about it,i know im old for this but my partner is saying he wants to get kids
please answer my question.i am based in glasgow and would love to get help
regarding about how to get my tubes untied
thank you

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Chin

Thanks for your post and welcome!

A man who is marrying a 45 year old woman who has had her tubes tied cannot realistically expect to have children with her. If it's so important to him, he is better off to adopt with her or use a surrogate but to expect her to get her tubes untied and then start trying for a baby at this age may not be a good idea. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

I'm not saying it cannot happen. It can - and you will need to contact a doctor about this immediately. Once the procedure is done, you can probably start trying straight away - you need to talk to your doctor about that.

But you also need to be aware of the risks involved and know that the odds of pregnancy go down substantially after 40 and even more so at 45 - and the odds of having a special needs child go up substantially too. Are you both prepared for that? Do you have the finances and emotional strength for IVF is that's needed? Statistically, it may well be.

You have much to think about and your needs and health need to come first. Is your partner much younger than you? If so, and he wanted kids, he should have chosen a woman his own age.

There is also a possibility of you adopting an older child!

It also sounds like you don't actually want kids but your partner does. You never mentioned that this is something you want, only that your partner wants it. Please don't try for kids unless YOU absolutely want them! Don't try to please a man this way, when it's essentially you who has to undergo surgery and then a high risk pregnancy. There are other options out there when it comes to raising a family.

So if this is your plan, then please contact your own doctor straight away - you have absolutely no time to spare. Just please be aware of your own rights and responsibilities and make sure you are not doing this just to keep a man - make sure a baby is your dream too.

My best wishes to you,

~Susan

November 18, 2011 - 2:01pm
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