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What is the best thing to do for depression over a child's death other than medication?

By Anonymous October 27, 2011 - 12:52pm
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Dear Anon

Thank you for your question and our deepest condolences to you. As mothers ourselves, most of us have had this run through our minds many times but have not dealt with it. We cannot even say we know how you feel, because no-one who hasn't experienced this can. Our hearts are with you.

Feelings of depression are obviously completely normal. Feelings of utter despair and hatred and anger are also normal, as well as many other feelings that seem perfectly natural and unnatural. In other words, your grief, and how it manifests itself, is normal.

We cannot tell you what the best thing is for you. People cope in so many different ways. If you child died from a particular circumstance (for example a disease/medical condition, or in a car accident) sometimes it really helps the parent to get involved in an organization that is working to help prevent the circumstance that caused your child to die.

Other people find great support joining a group dedicated to parents who have lost a child. No-one will ever know what you have gone through unless they have gone through it too, and sometimes joining a group of equally grieving parents can help. You also need to seek out those who are many years away from when they lost their child. Being only with those whose grief is as raw as yours can sometimes be too much. A group leader would make a great mentor to you.

Talk therapy can also be a good tool. Talking to a therapist who has studied grief counseling and worked with other parents in your situation can help you cope.

Some find solace in religious faith or spirituality and for others, only time can help to somehow ease the pain, although it will probably never full leave. And sometimes - a good friend is what can pull someone through.

Please talk to your doctor, counselor, spiritual adviser or trusted friend about what path you can take.

I don't know if this has helped you, I hope it has.

We also have a special Group dedicated to supporting those who have lost a child. You can find it here: http://www.empowher.com/groups/grief-and-anger-family-member

Please stay in touch with us

October 28, 2011 - 4:31pm
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