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Why doesn't he want sex anymore?

By February 11, 2010 - 6:48am
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I have been together with my boyfriend for two years, we love each other completely , he even stays in england with me and left behind his friends family a job, he cant get a job here and struggles to sleep and is depressed.
Plus we also used to fight alot and have massive fights cos i have ADHD and a few problems.
In the beginning we used to have sex three times a day and it was exciting, but now im lucky if it's once a month.He still loves me,we kiss and cuddle loads and say it everyday but I find myself getting angry and frustrated as I want sex at least once a week.He said he loves me , but he don't know what's happening with him.And theres no point suggesting sexy underwear or whtever, it doesnt even faze him.
He's like my best friend but I miss the sex!!!
what do i do? Whats wrong???

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Thankyou so much
No, he is not happy, but he said the only reason he cant go back to portugal is becuase he loves me and couldnt be apart from me.
I didnt mean to sound selfish i understand now that he has bigger problems than me.
Thankyou for your advice, I will help him fill out loads of application forms and see what happnes.

February 12, 2010 - 6:40am


It sounds as though your boyfriend is disinterested in sex because of depression. He doesn't have a job, you guys struggle with finances, and he is miles away from home. No doubt he loves you, but is he happy? It's not to say that you don't make him happy, but it seems as though this sudden change in lifestyle has become more difficult to cope with than he thought it would. Many times men could use our help in certain circumstances. For example, how about taking a day to fill out employment applications with him? And I mean TONS of them-- you can never apply for too many jobs if you ask me. The job itself can help him out significantly-- it will allow him to socialize, establish self worth, and definitely do something for financial troubles. Perhaps even allowing for a trip to visit home? One thing I can tell you is to validate his feelings and help him as much as you possibly can. It will not only mean a lot to him but it will ultimately save your relationship and get it back on the right track.

I hope this helps, please keep us updated.

February 11, 2010 - 1:54pm

Also,I'd just like to add, he gets very upset when I bring this up and says that he's just one of those men that doesn't think about it too much when its been a while with the same person, but he loves me and hes moved country to be with me.Am i selfish for wanting more action?? Im 22 and he's 29, I'm still young and this is my first proper relationship thats why i worry.

February 11, 2010 - 12:14pm
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