What a strange world we live in, when a leading cause of death for a pregnant woman is murder.
But it's the truth. We have all heard of Laci Peterson and the case of Lori Hacking but what many don't know is that car accidents or sudden major complications aside, a women is more likely to die from a homicide in her pregnancy than any other reason.
Why?
Pregnancy is touted as a happy time of great anticipation and excitement. And it is for most. But that's not always the case. In many cases, the pregnancy is unplanned (by both or only one of the individuals), unwanted or causes already rocky relationships to grow even more unsteady.
Pregnant women are at their most vulnerable. Feeling tired, anxious and overwhelmed, they may find they are unable to defend themselves in ways they ordinarily could. And women, facing dozens of happy friends and relatives, baby showers and gifts, don't want to 'ruin' things by admitting all is not well at home. They may also (wrongly) feel they are somehow to blame, or will be blamed by others. Shame and embarrassment play a huge part in their silence.
“According to a 2001 study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association, approximately 20 percent of Maryland women who died during pregnancy were murdered. This supported the findings of previous studies in Cook County, Ill., and New York.
Experts and women's advocates are not surprised to find that pregnant women are especially prone to violent deaths. In many cases, pregnant women are killed by their husbands or significant others.
"Most pregnant women are killed by people they know, like husbands or boyfriends," said Pat Brown, a criminal profiler and CEO of the Sexual Homicide Exchange.
"With husbands or boyfriends, the women tend to be eight months pregnant — they're there and the baby is coming," Brown continued. "They can see the woman and unborn child as something that is in the way, keeps them from living the lifestyle they want."
Jealous of the Unborn
While pregnancy is supposed to be a happy time, it can aggravate an already troubled relationship undermined by either extramarital affairs or a long history of abuse.
"Her body begins to change," said Sheryl Cates, executive director of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. "There are also hormone changes that a woman experiences. … Emotionally, she may cry a lot, which may be irritating and frustrating. If you already have a volatile situation, add those factors [and] you have an escalation of violence. Often, that leads to death."
Sometimes pregnancy can make husbands or boyfriends feel ignored, prompting them to seek gratification elsewhere. Soon, the pregnant wife and unborn child become obstacles, not sources of happiness, and that can lead to premeditated murder.
"There can be an affair going on, where the husband or boyfriend are getting a lack of sexual gratification and they venture out, fall in love and feel like they have to get rid of the wife," said Tod Burke, associate professor of criminal justice at Radford University in Virginia and a former Maryland police officer. "But, there really is no typical motive in cases like these. It really is situational."
The Need for Control … or Escape
Despite the various motives, experts say all these killings have a common denominator: a need for control. Pregnancy can make domineering husbands and boyfriends feel like they are no longer powerful and in control, especially in abusive relationships. Murder is the ultimate demonstration of control.
"What we find with men who are violent toward their intimate partner is that he feels that he's lost control or possession over her or her body," said Cates. "He feels that he is not getting the attention that he deserves. He often feels … that he's lost his place to the baby."
http://abcnews.go.com/US/Story?id=90678&page=2
The recent story of pregnant soldier Megan Touma also serves as a reminder that even the strongest and bravest of women are vulnerable. The father of the unborn baby has since been arrested for the murders. You can read more on the Megan Touma story by clicking here http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/07/30/nc.soldier.dead/index.html
While anyone can understand a man feeling a little lost or left out during a pregnancy, there can never be an excuse for hurting a woman. And that he knows he is also taking the life of his unborn child makes the act even more monstrous.
Tell Us
Did you or someone you know ever face violence or threatening behavior while pregnant? How did you (or she) cope? Do you have advice for other women?
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Add a Comment7 Comments
I think that if you are pregnant and your husband punches you in the uterus you should never call the police but just go to the hospital. I called the police and they didn't care about what he did but said I was the "primary aggressor" because I tried to look at his phone right before it happened. I had tried to leave him 2 weeks before and he spent that time in between then and trying to kill the baby by injuring himself and making "documentations" of his self-inflicted injuries and saying I did it. He used these to try to blackmail me into being afraid to call the police and then did eveything in his power to scare me into calling the police. His plan finally worked when he tried to kill the baby because I called 911. I was totally incoherent, crying hysterically and praying for my baby. I was not "present" with the police when they were asking questions because I was in shock and trying to pray. I couldn't believe he had really tried to kill our child and didn't even admit that to myself for several more days. Meanwhile, he spent 45 minutes calmly wowing the officers with a computer presentation that he had spent 2 weeks preparing for this very moment. I was left alone during that time, crying hysterically as I looked at the wall calendar of a newborn in the next room. When they asked if I wanted medical attention I began wailing "What can they do? It's either going to live or die! What can they do??" And I cried and cried. Then they started making accusations and I tried to be honest about how our argument started and my part in it. They kept cutting me off when I tried to explain. I was not in a state to be able to try to manipulate the truth the way my husband obviously was. I thought they were going to help me but they took me to jail and he went home to my pets and possessions. I spent the next two days worrying he was going to hurt or neglect my cats. When I got to the police station they asked if I was suicidal and I said "yes" and they asked if anyone in my family had commited suicide and I told them that three people had. When I saw the paperwork later I saw that he had checked "no" next to both boxes. He asked if I was pregnant and I said I was, and then later he asked if I was injured and I said yes, that I had just been punched in the uterus. He was alread moving on to the next question when another cop who overheard said, "You're pregnant and you just got punched in the uterus?" And I said, "YES!!!" and that is the first time anyone tried to help me. Awhile later the door to the little cell opened and 5 large burly men (3 medics and 2 cops) opened the door and said they were all going to examine me. I was in my flimsy pajmas with no bra on and I tried to hide my boobs. I've been through a lifetime of physical and sexual abuse and all these large men were so intimidating that I said I wasn't going to have any men looking at me under any circumstances. They said there were no females available and asked if I was "refusing medical attention" as if that would be a crime. But then one kind young man, one of the medics, got down on one knee and very calmly looked into my eyes and said, "it's okay, we just want to take your blood pressure and heartrate." He made me feel safe and I said okay but NOBODY was going to be getting any peeks at my body. They took me to the ER. Many hours later they tell me there is a hemmorage on the gestational sac and that there is a 50% chance my baby will die. I had been to my OB days before and although I hadn't had an ultrasound yet they said everything was fine at that time. On the way back to be booked into jail I had my head together enough to ask why they weren't arresting my husband. I wasn't trying to weasel out of anything myself, but I asked why they didn't arrest us both at least. Forgetting what he did to me, why wasn't he being held accountable for injuring an unborn baby intentionally? Well he said that policy is to only arrest one person. I have never been arrested before (my husband has, twice, both for violent offenses including DV) and they put me in a cell for 6 hours with a bunch of drug-addicts. I spoke to their jail lawyer before my arraignment and she made it seem like plea-bargaining and saying "guilty" was the normal way to go, but I was cognizant enough by this point to at least plead Not Guilty so I could finally talk to a lawyer. Now I am living in a hotel and unable to go within 500ft of my home, where my husband is probably destroying my artwork and screwing someone else on my hand-made quilt. I was allowed to go there and spend 15 minutes grabbing what I could, and thank God I was able to rescue my cats, who are safe and with me. I have a lawyer. I haven't miscarried and it's been three days so hopefully the baby will live and not have any terrible disabilities. My husband got off scott-free. SO AGAIN MY ADVICE IF YOUR HUSBAND TRIES TO KILL YOUR UNBORN BABY IS GO TO THE HOSPITAL. Do not call the police under any circumstance, because you will be crying too hard for them to understand a word you say.
June 16, 2012 - 12:49pmThis Comment
It is so sad and unfortunate that pregnant women become vulnerable targets to abuse (verbally and physically) and in many cases it leads to death.
An old co-worker of mine lost her first baby because of this. Her boyfriend and her had a very volatile relationship at the time and in one of their fights, he grabbed her and threw her against the floor. She was about 4 months pregnant and that was the end of that poor, defenseless childs life.
What's worse is that the second time she got pregnant, she lost her baby at 38 weeks-- 38 weeks!! She was diagnosed with a rupture of her placenta, but when I did my research on what caused it the only thing that made sense was trauma (although she NEVER mentioned this). The untimely death of her baby girl was devastating-- both to her and her boyfriend. I was 6 months pregnant at the time of her loss, so it hit me and my husband pretty hard as well. All I kept thinking was '38 weeks, she could've lived'. My son was born at 38 weeks and was 100% healthy...and I can't thank god enough.
There has to be a stop to this. It is devastating enough to lose one life, but when a pregnant woman dies--there are 2 lives lost.
June 29, 2009 - 5:23amThis Comment
The men who kill pregnet women are cowards.they realize they have responsibilities &the only way to deal with them is death?
June 26, 2009 - 9:41pmJust imagine how the family feels.
Imagine if they have daughters or sons whut they gave to go thru!
This Comment
Seriously? Really? Cause I totally found auto accidents to be the leading cause of death among pregnant women. Then it is followed by homicide, which is not limited to domestic violence. Its ok if you want to drink the kool-aid and think men are terrible and will hurt you, but try not to spread your ignorance.Oh wait, this is a feminist site. I am sorry; I did not mean to oppose your propaganda. I was wrong; it is correct that men are dangerous, and they will kill if they lose control over you, or have their feelings hurt. I think all men should have to register with the local police and inform their neighbors when they move into the neighborhood.
April 3, 2009 - 11:11amThis Comment
Suicide also rates as a higher cause of death than homicide. In fact good statistics show that being pregnant actually protects women from homicide. Unfortunately the study too often used was rigged by, for example, including deaths by homicide for up to 12 months after birth.
Laci Peterson is a poor choice as an example of this. Only a few women every year are killed for the fetus - there is a list on http://another9912.googlepages.com/fetalandnewbornabductions of cases currently known. Most are like Martha Moreno, unmarried, young, minority, killed by Gilbert Cano, the father of the baby and blown off by the media and thus by the courts. Where was the outcry for her? Where was her wall to wall TV coverage? She was loved - but not by many, sadly. And so Cano will be out in a few years and Martha just a memory.
July 31, 2008 - 12:44pmThis Comment
The Laci Petersen case is one of the most horrific, appalling and unimaginable tragedies in recent years. It's hard enough to wrap one's head around the desperation that some men must have felt before taking the lives of their families. But, the level of selfishness it takes to commit murder in order to be "free" for another relationship is unfathomable.
What I find so frustrating is that, no matter how much a woman tries to express her fear and sense of danger, no one listens! I just don't get it.
A few of my coworkers were discussing the difference in how police treat men and women in domestic violence calls. Men are given more latitude, while women are still treated as though they must have done something to bring the violence upon themselves. One fellow said that the police where he lives are now required to arrest the male in a domestic violence call. I'm not sure that's the answer to trying to control a bad situation.
July 30, 2008 - 7:32pmThis Comment
I have to admit that I was initially surprised when I heard that homicide was the leading cause of death for pregnant women but after reading this article, it was something I could more easily wrap my mind around.
While I haven't heard or can't remember anyone in our area who was murdered as a result of being pregnant, there is one story that comes to mind about a man who allegedly slaughtered his entire family.
Robert Fisher is now on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list. He was married to his wife, Mary Jean, and had two children -- Brittney, 12 and Bobby Jr., 10. Fisher's family home exploded more than seven years ago and it was thought that his wife and two children's throats were slashed prior to the start of the fire. Fisher was reportedly having an affair at the time.
Another man, whose name I can't recall also allegedly murdered his wife and two stepchildren whose bodies were found in 55-gallon drums buried in the desert a few years later. He was convicted and remained cocky even when it came to his sentencing.
And Susuan mentioned the National Domestic Violence Hotline which is a great resource for women. You can find out more at http://www.ndvh.org/ or by calling 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Thanks for the info, Susan.
July 30, 2008 - 2:57pmThis Comment