It is the recording that you hear go round and round each day. It is the silent movie that only you can hear. I am talking about self-talk. And, I have learned through the years self-talk can be the very best or the very worst of who we are and who we want to be.
I am a big believer of the fact that everything starts from within. Despite the fact that I built my career in front of the camera, I truly believe that if you don't have internal peace and happiness and come from a good place, your inner discontent will always come to the surface. My self-talk over the years when I was dealing with a stressful situation or facing my fears was extremely negative. It wiped away my confidence. I make me afraid. It stopped me from doing things that I knew I could do.
When I had finally had enough, I began writing down thoughts over time and talking to a few experts and it was then I was able to hear my words aloud. And boy, were they scary.
Over time, I realized that my self-talk was self-destructive. It was filled with excuses and denial, both ways to protect myself. I remember walking around one day and thinking that something had to change or I would be making this same trip forever with no different results.
At that moment, I decided to take control of my negative self-talk by composing a list of the things I should be saying (needless to say, I did not need a list of the negative stuff).
Here is my original list, with some additions from along the way:
• Protect yourself.
• Today is the future.
• You are living your life.
• You can't have other people make you complete.
• You can't fix people.
• You can only fix you.
• Decide what you want.
• Go after it. 100 percent.
• Stop seeking advice from everyone.
• Don't settle. Ever.
• Stop confiding in everyone.
• Keep a journal, diary, post it. I don't care what it is. Just keep track of yourself.
• Go outside often.
• Take a walk with a friend.
• Force yourself to go out alone.
• Force yourself to go out with someone.
• Remember that before you love yourself, you must like yourself. It is essential.
What does your self-talk sound like? If you have healthy self-talk, share it with me. I would love to add it to the list.
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