I don't like sharing this part of my life, but if my story can help just one person, then it's worth it.
I am 16 (almost 17) years old, and I am dignoased with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), depression, a form of OCD and ADD. I have always had anxiety, ever since I was little I've been scared of practically my own shadow. The ADD never really helped, it only made me feel out of place, like I was different from the other kids. I was put on medication in 1st grade for ADD, which made me feel even more out of place and socially awkward. I never talked to anyone. The depression started when my grandpa died in 2009 of cancer, trust me when I say this, when he died a part of me died with him, a part I can NEVER get back. That summer (going into 5th grade) I decided to join cheerleading, as a place to try and make friends, but the girls kicked me off of the team in 6th grade. The depression got worse by the time I was in 8th grade. 8th grade was a nightmare, since I have ADD I am on a IEP, and my sped teacher was a witch. She would make me cry, give me anxiety attacks and send me home feeling at my lowest point. I wanted to die, I felt so stupid, like it would never end. But when high school came along, life got a bit better and worse. On the bright side, the boy I had a huge crush on started taking a liking to me (he was a year older and I think he still likes me), I got good grades, I ended up meeting and falling in love with my current boyfriend, and I felt like I was going on the right path. On the downside, I started getting depressed for no reason. I would (and still do) sit in my room with all the lights off, cry and go on tumblr and reblog depressing things. Depression and anxiety distroyed my life.
As I go into my junior year of High school, I realize now that I have lived half of my life in the shadows, just one more year of the best time of my life, and I've spent it sad. I want to be able to live before I die, not live just once and allow darkness to fulfill my life. I write for a hobby, and I write about my experiences to help others and to help myself. I am a star student in my poetry class.
I guess I don't know where I'm going, but all I know is that it's time for me to live my life now, and not regret anything.
I hope you enjoyed my story.
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