Fifteen months ago, in my forties, I finally went “No Contact” from my abusive mother. I tell stories on my blog about family, spirituality and healing, so naturally I blogged about this.
People close to my abusive mother and those who disapprove of me airing dirty laundry leave comments such as "Get over it," and "Move on."
Readers struggling in the death grip of a narcissistic mother leave another sort of comment entirely:
"Reading your blog lit a light bulb about a really toxic relationship."
"I can relate to it all ... Especially the wobbly, motherless feeling when I leave her presence."
"Gaslighting! I didn't know there was an actual name for what she does to me. I thought I was insane, overly paranoid, looking for issues where they don't exist ... oh god, Thank you. THANK YOU."
"Thank you so much for this. I have been struggling through this and feeling very guilty. I needed this like you would not believe."
Last month, a stranger who read my story wrote to me of her struggle to escape the her narcissistic mother. This young woman, Kate, went as far as moving to another country. Kate wrote about how her mother manipulates her grandparents, making it difficult to have a relationship with them.
Kate inspired me to write a three-part series for the daughters of narcissistic mothers. In Part I of "On Leaving Your Mother," I will issue a paraphrase of my response to Kate.
In Part 2, I list the nuts and bolts of how to leave your mother — a relationship seemingly ordained by God and all that is holy.
In Part 3, I will discuss the fallout — the repercussions and flying monkeys — you can expect once you make a decision to put your own healing before your narcissistic mother’s insatiable desire to diminish you.