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No Refund: Learning to Accept Ourselves

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As the saying goes, you can't love anyone else until you truly love yourself. It's quite possibly the simplest form of poetry ever passed on from one generation to the next. And while it may feel insipid, it's also probably true.

While we're busy telling ourselves we want our money back when it comes to our job, family, spouse, friends and children, what we're really saying is that "I didn't sign up for this" and "I want a refund!" and it may, really be, that we'd like to trade ourselves.

How about it? Didn't we always feel we could or should be taller, shorter, smarter, dumber, meaner, leaner, richer, poorer or happier? Or sadder? Talented or less talented, smoother or more fashionable? It's about time we stopped searching endlessly for that dang receipt we thought came with our birth certificate . We need to just breathe, accept, work with what we've got and love ourselves a little.

If you could never, ever get rid of yourself, why would you want to keep trying? This resistance against the goodness and beauty that you are can keep you stuck in a trap of endlessly trying to fix everything about yourself, your life and those around you.

When we see that we've got tunnels and pathways that have not even been discovered, let alone explored, we might just find ourselves to be pretty unique and interesting. We might even discover we love our thoughts, our ideas, our journey. Maybe even to the point of no return.

Aimee Boyle lives with her lovely family, works with students and writes about health and education, women's issues and relationships.

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