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Jody Smith
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Top Ten Things Not to Say to Someone with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

1. "I get tired too."

The ridiculous moniker hung long ago upon this debilitating disease continues to throttle us. "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome". Its name is all about being tired.

Everyone and his dog is tired. Take an unofficial impromptu poll anywhere. People can hardly keep going. I remember what that was like. Quite fondly, actually. That was when I could keep going. Wanted to do it. Did do it. Gloried in it. And now it is beyond me.

We are more than tired. This goes way beyond fatigue. Beyond exhaustion. Somewhere past the town limits of depletion. Just short, it seems, of annihilation.

2. "You don't look sick."

This one used to really bother me. Till it occured to me that maybe it would be worse if I looked as bad as I felt. Didn't want THAT peering back at me from the mirror.

But to be told I looked fine seems somehow to negate my experience. A casual glance and a wave of the "Fine" magic wand, and Jody's chronic condition was shuffled and put aside.

3. "If you'd just get some exercise ..."

Here, I'll finish this sentence for you – I could drop on my face for a month and a half. For many with CFS this is the truth of the matter.

We value and respect the experiences of all of our HerWriters, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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