Facebook Pixel

Sex, When Is It Too Soon?

Rate This

More Videos from Sonya Zepeda 9 videos in this series

Sex, When Is It Too Soon?
Sex, When Is It Too Soon?
3 of 9 : Current video

Sonya Zepeda shares why a couple should wait to have sex.

Sonya Zepeda:
When is sex to soon? I think sex is always too soon and I have several reasons why I think this. Number one, I think a lot of women, whether they admit to this or not, are hopeless romantics. So unless you are a nymphomaniac or a sex addict of some sort, generally I think when women fall into bed too quickly they always end up hurt, feeling cheated, feeling cheap and things of that nature.

And the other thing I always like to say is, “Have a little self-respect for yourself.” Make a man work for it. Just like we enjoy challenge, I think men enjoy a challenge, so sort of respect who you are, realize you’re valuable, love yourself and you don’t want to just give yourself away to just anybody for any reason.

When I was in college there were countless instances. I used to live with 40 men in a college dorm and then later lived with five guys in a house of our own and I can’t tell you how many times I would feel bad for women who had to do the walk of shame because they would be the woman that they came home with at night; they’d later grew bored with them so they’d sort of be out in the living room thinking I don’t want to deal with this girl and the poor girl is stuck in the bedroom having to walk past all of us in order to leave and men sort of, you know, I find men have…can be at times a little heartless in that respect.

One of my sort of sayings that I always say is, “Treat the me that keeps them keen,” and the reason being behind that I have noticed if I am a little aloof that I have people sort of chasing after me a little bit more than if you sort of reveal yourself entirely and completely to them.

The other thing is too I think a lot of women complain, “Where have all the gentlemen gone,” and a lot of times I think, “Are we partly to blame for this?” Because if you look at society today, everything, you’ve got, “Girls Gone Wild”, you’ve got the women in the videos in the booty poppin’ shorts with the knee pads, you’ve got sort of things in media or TV shows that sort of promotes this crazy passion and at the end of the day that’s not reality so I feel like the gentlemen, we sort of created the lack of the gentlemen because we don’t have enough respect for yourself to demand that sort of behavior from the men.

So I would say sex is always a little bit too soon and that you should wait at least 30 to 60 days and sort of develop that friendship. And my other reason being behind that is then you can sort of have that crush, that butterfly phase that you go through when you are in love and that buildup, that sexual tension that you have between each other and at the end of those 60 days or 90 days or whatever it is that you can have maybe an explosive, crazy, wonderful, passionate evening and in the event that it doesn’t turn out the way you had hoped it would turn out, at least you have sort of established a friendship so you don’t have that awkward moment and feeling cheap of “I’ve just put another notch on bed”.

About Sonya Zepeda:
She has played both the heartbreaker and the broken-hearted in this crazy world of love. Sonya has explored many methods for successfully recovering from the collapse of a relationship. She has put her heart and soul into finding out what does and doesn’t work in this process. Through family, friends and her own trials and tribulations with men, she has written an entertaining and educational break up guide that will help mend your heart, fill your belly and lift your spirits.

Add a CommentComments

There are no comments yet. Be the first one and get the conversation started!

Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!