What should I do if my boyfriend never orgasms with me and can't stay hard...

My boyfriend recently got out of prison after serving 12 years. He has no problem maintaining an erection, and in fact has sex with me 3-4 times a day. The problem I am having is that I am 39 years old, he is 53 and we would like to conceive. He only ejaculates 1-3 times a month. When I am ovulating is the time when I would most like him to "finish the job". I do not put pressure on him and in fact tell him not to tell me when he is going to cum. I know most women would not see this as a problem, but I really want him to ejaculate more often. Is there a remedy to this.....maybe a supplement or pill he could take? Please help!

I found this thread because I typed in the question myself and looks like we are dealing with aomething similar. So I will share in the hopes it may help you. I met my bf and he avoided sex with me the first month-and the first time we tried was a disaster-he could not maintain an erection and was upset-i was confused as I have had 4 partners before him with no issues.but he avoided the question.it wasn't until I broke up with him because he was so distant I got him to tell me why.he was distant in general and had sex problems because he was molested as a child. Able to have sex but having a breakdown at 28 he then dealt in therapy with being molested, so he was able to deal with the emotions but sexually from then on he was changed. I took him back and he was so much more open and trusting-but the sex comes and goes-sometimes he can go almost an hour but will not orgasm.sometimes he loses his erection. But he tries. I hope to get him to a dr (we've been together over a year) but he is such a sweetheart and always tries sexually-even if he has to use oral and manual means. I hope this helped you in anyway and I hope you two can make your relationship work :)

Thanks all for your comments! They are all very insightful and for now on I'm just going to be patient and supportive! Thanks to all the male posters, I appreciate it.

Hey, definitely do not worry about it at all, you just need to get used to each other on a bit of a deeper level (beyond words).... I am guessing he just has a little bit of sexual a.d.d...... Sex is a completely different sport than maintaining a friendship... It's very very very mental... I have been in situations where I have been extremely aroused to the point of climax, but my body would not co-operate. This is usually due to a busy mind... Thoughts begin to swirl around in my head and I begin to think instead of feel. I become overly self-conscious about whether she's enjoying it, what I can do to make it better... and I usually go soft because of the lack of sexual focus and it then just starts a chain reaction... Oh my god, she's going to think I'm not attracted to her... and I am totally screwed until I can regain my sexual focus and just learn to tune out the voice in my head and just do whatever feeeeels good. I recommend just taking it very slow... Stare into each others eyes... You will see that you can not lie to each other in silence when you are staring into one anothers eyes.... lots of kissing... kissing helps you feel the other person out, you can tell if they are focused and aroused within the first second of a kiss.... definitely don't put pressure on him to cum..... you must allow beauty to happen, the second you try to force beauty to happen is the second it will escape you...... and know that no matter what you are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful... don't ask him if its because he is not attracted to you or accuse him of being homo... as that could sexually traumatize him for life......... if all else fails........ viagara, porn and ecstacy...

stay lovin' stay true.

Buy a cock ring

I am not a doctor, nor can I give you any advice, but I am experiencing a similar issue, but not as bad. During sex my boyfriend also doesn't stay hard, but the difference is, he still wants sex and if I haven't come yet he will try to make himself hard again. I don't know why he doesn't stay up. He is also attracted to me and sometimes really wants sex but isn't hard which is weird and other times he wants sex and is hard. I actually asked about this in another posting and whomever responded stated that it is natural for a man not to stay up, that each man's erection is different and it comes and goes. I just know that I didn't have this problem with my previous boyfriend, although he wasn't the greatest lover. I'm sorry I couldn't help you, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone.

If he loves you and gets turned on by you initially then he's not gay. A gay man wouldn't be turned on by a woman or be romantically attached.

For some people sex is just a complicated thing.

The above comment was very insightful. I'd just like to add to it that depression can be a major cause of impotence. If your boyfriend feels anyway depressed it can have a major impact on sexual performance. If he does maybe he should seek some professional help.

Other than that all I can recommend is for you to be patient and not focus on it too much. Let him get comfortable and feel that there is no pressure for him to perform or satisfy you.

He should also make sure he does enough exercises and possibly a discipline such as yoga or meditation where he can train himself to be more relaxed and not hung up on a negative self image of himself or be worried about satisfying you.

Hi there, just thought I would bring you a male perspective of someone who has personally gone through this and is now much better.
Firstly in all likely hood, he is NOT gay. If he is in a relationship with you its because he is attracted to you on multiple levels. Theres is many causes for this sort of problem with men and a lot of men experience it at one point or another. It can be caused by a bad relationship (this was when it started happening for me), I had a woman who played mind games with me / cheated, and destroyed any self esteem I had. This made me feel anxious whenever I had sex. Everytime i had sex for several years after this relationship I would be worried about the fact that I may not be good enough (which makes me loose my excitement and anticipation). the moment a man has the thought "oh no im going to loose it" meaning his erection even if he hasnt yet lost it, he WILL lose it. other causes can be related to weight and general self-consciousness. the best thing you can do to help him overcome this is to not make a big deal about it. have fun when you make love but dont make fun of the situation or him (this will make it much worse the next time you try). If he has any fantasies that youve talked about and you wouldnt mind doing perhaps playing those out will help maintain his mood regardless of worries. also you can reassure him of how good he is and how good he feels, this will make him feel more powerful and confident. assuming he does ofcourse, he will know if you lie or make something up and that could be devastating. so in summary, try not to talk about his problem as it will only make him more focused on it in future attempts (let him think of solutions without you bringing them to him, with the exception of fantisies). Reassure him often, and if he still feels very insecure you could always take him to the gym making sure to mention that theres nothing wrong with his body but perhaps you both could exercise togeather. exercise makes men feel strong after they have pushed past the point of exhaustion, it releases chemicals in our brains that make us feel happier and thus less worried. also if his arms and chest grows and his stomach shrinks (long term obviously) he will feel much more confident.