Divorce Resource Advocate Linda Kazares discusses the timing of dating after a divorce.
I think one of the difficult things for people when they get divorced, either while they are still married and in the process or even after, is sort of reentering that whole relationship thing.
You know, do I start dating? Is it too soon? I have children, you know, when do the children become involved?
I think what you have to do is you really need to distance yourself from the final divorce decree.
It’s probably not the right time to jump back into a relationship, at least that’s been my experience. I kind of overlapped and it wasn’t a good thing for me or for my spouse or for the divorce.
Let me explain overlap. I see it happen all the time. People have been in a marriage for a while and they are afraid not to be in a relationship and they know that their existing relationship is about to be dissolved so they start overlapping.
They’ll start dating before the divorce is over. Now this isn’t necessarily a cheating spouse. This is when you have decided you are getting divorce so all of a sudden it sounds like it’s okay to start dating, but it’s just going to cause a lot of problems.
First of all, you go into a relationship, you don’t know why you are in that relationship, because you are so emotional. There aren’t any real reasons to be in that relationship other than you are afraid to be alone.
So I think my best advice would be, you are not alone. There are a lot of people out there who will help you and support you.
You don’t need to overlap a relationship. Distance yourself so that when you go into your next relationship you are more clear-headed and you know what you are looking for.
About Linda Kazares:
She is the author of several marketing books and was a consultant to Fortune 500 technology companies. During her 35+ years as an entrepreneur, she has been divorced twice, produced of 50 conferences and has been married for 13 years happily for a third and final time. She has created the ConnectedIn Divorce Resource website to make available qualified information and education for individuals considering, in the process of or after divorce.