ask: Alone on Christmas?

Kristin, the first thing I would ask is, how does it make you feel to be alone on Christmas? Since you're not with family, does it make you want to be with others? Or just have a good day on your own?

I've dealt with this two different ways. One, I went through several years where I had "strays" in -- others who were without family, and we all pitched in for a potluck dinner. Some were single people far from home who worked where I did, and others were friends in the neighborhood. To cook and then to have company makes the hours go by pretty quickly; by the time you get to Christmas evening, you're 90 percent of the way there.

If you're more of an introvert, make it a movie day. Bunches of movies open on Christmas day, and you can (guiltlessly) go from theater to theater and see them all. Or do this at home, heading to Blockbuster a few days ahead of time to pick up all the chick flicks you've missed in the last couple of years.

I think the most important thing to realize is that it should be a day that is appropriate to you. If that's reading and watching television; if that's doing something outside; if that's going through the newspaper and mapping all the sales for the day after, then that's what you should do. If it's cooking like a maniac, playing music (Christmas or otherwise!), or starting a journal for 2009, do that.

If you get invitations, the same rule goes: Accept them if you'd like to, don't accept them if they aren't right for you. There's no one watching you here, there are no rules of etiquette, there are no have-tos. And for all those pesky "So what did you do over Christmas?" inquiries afterward, just have a sublime response: "Opened presents, talked to friends, ate good food. How about you?" that will fit almost all circumstances.

I read about your Thanksgiving -- you did an awesome job of setting a new tradition. If Christmas seems sad or lonely, just realize that it's only one day -- and really, the only part you have to "survive" is early morning to early evening. After that, it's practically the 26th, and then it's on to the New Year. (Denial also works for me, as you can tell, LOL.)

Take care, and make it a day about you.

I love your advice, Cyndi!! Thanks for giving me some great ideas. I already don't feel so alone.

If you were living near me you wouldn't be alone, I'd have you over here. I don't think anyone should be alone for Christmas, that's just me.

We're hosting someone for Christmas Eve evening because they would otherwise be alone and not happy about it.

Like Cyndi said - make it a day all for you! If you go to Church - go. Or you could order in, pig out, veg out, eat whatever you want, watch awesome movies and enjoy a Bailey's on the rocks!

If you like, you can volunteer at a kitchen and serve Christmas lunch.

I love alone-time myself, but not over Christmas. Is this the first time for you, Kristin? Are you semi looking forward to it or dreading it? Do you have any other relatives (aunts/cousins etc) that would gladly have you over, or some friends, perhaps? Most people feel 'the more the merrier' over Christmas, I know I do! We have hosted friends for Thanksgiving several times, it's doesn't have to be blood relatives.

Years ago, an ex-coworker of mine was alone for the first time the same year as her divorce and she has the kids for Thanksgiving and he had them for Christmas. So I called up my relatives and asked if I could take a 'date' for Christmas day and they said sure. In I walked with my galpal! She really enjoyed it.

Either way- alone or with someone- make it a good day for yourself. Light the fire and curl up, or join in some merrymaking somewhere else. I hope you enjoy your day, Kristin!

My father had a tradition of inviting the "homeless and indigent," as he fondly referred to his employees and colleagues who had no place to go, to share the holidays with us.

One of my kid sisters, rather than spend a holiday alone, would go to a local church or other location to help serve a holiday meal to the needy.

Whether you take the time to reconnect with yourself or to go out and do something for someone else, I hope the spirit of the holidays chases away any possibility of feeling the blues.

Kristin, I will get a little deeper here but forgive me if I make reference to why do we have Christmas in the first place.

First of all, I do not think the word "alone" should be the concern. We are so busy with the external world that we never have time with the our OWN self. YES, we have built a big hype around Christmas and YES it is time to spend it with family, friends, co-workers, shoppers or why not ALONE! What a great opportunity you have to spend this holiday with YOU and connect with that side who you have little time to be with the rest of the year.

Long time ago in a far away place a little baby was born in a very humble Inn and a manger. No parties, no noise, no big presents, just His earthly parents, shepperds and a few animals. It was a special night for humanity, and in the Silence of that Night, the greatest Teacher and Savior was born in human form. I will reflect on this more than any other time in my life and pray for those who have had to endure suffering: illness, loneliness, financial difficulties, addiction, etc.

Peace and Love is what we need and Christmas offers us an opportunity to renew our commitment to spreading the real message.

I am one person that will be spending Christmas alone. I also spent Thanksgiving alone. Thanksgiving did not go over too well. I thought to myself, I would never do the holidays alone again. I cried, self-pitied, and did not answer my phone. It was horrible.

I got out of a 7 year relationship in February and these are the first holidays alone. It is not easy. Self-pity is such an overwhelming emotion. So easy to fall victim to it. For Christmas, I am trying to go to a friends house for dinner or something...just to get out of the house and force myself to be social.

I found that there is one thing that makes the loneliness feel better which would be helping someone else. I chose to work on the holiday since I knew others have families and would want to spend time with them. Especially ones with children. Christmas is such a kid day anyhow. I feel better knowing that I am volunteering myself to take a person's place that has a family.

I hope this story helps....it is not easy but I found solace with volunteer work.

MisCortes, just thinking about both you and Kristin now that it's Christmas Eve.

Have you made plans for Christmas Day? Does it seem doable to you?

Mis, I tihnk it's very cool that you worked on the holiday, and gave someone with a family the chance to be with their kids.

Don't forget, it's just one day. I'll be peeking in on Empowher tomorrow night, be sure to check in and let us know what and how you're doing!