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Alone on Christmas?

By December 17, 2008 - 10:16am
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Not to start a pity party or anything,... I'm actually going to be alone on Christmas. It had never occurred to me before that I'd ever be alone on Christmas Day, so it's got me thinking about how others spend that day if they find themselves without family. Anyone else out there wondering what they're going to do on Christmas?

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EmpowHER Guest

Hey there! I have been single and spent the last couple of Christmas's alone and I really enjoyed myself.

This year, I put an ad on Craigslist for anyone else alone on Christmas and got several responses. So am meeting a new friend for some drinks or cocoa.

I also like the idea of starting a new tradition. I love to cook. So what I might do is go to the Whole Foods store, and start up one of those new recipes.

I think there are a lot more people that we know alone and sometimes its a lot more peaceful than the crazy overwhelming family scene. I actually might read a book, write my journal, do some shopping.

December 24, 2008 - 12:28pm

I had some really good news a couple of days ago.... my ex-husband told me that he'd bring the kids by to my house at 10 am for a couple of hours. I'm ecstatic that he'll let me share part of Christmas morning with them. (I think there might have been a mutiny if he hadn't.)

One thing on my mind at the moment is that a very dear friend of mine has invited me and my ex-husband and our kids to dinner on Christmas Eve. This is a tradition that our families have shared for several years. Every year we'd have them over for the big Thanksgiving dinner and they'd have us for Christmas Eve. This year I fled -- took the kids down to Tucson for Thanksgiving because I didn't want to re-live a similar Thanksgiving and needed to start a new tradition. But my friend really wants to continue our old Christmas Eve tradition. It's really kind of her to go to the trouble, and it gives me the ability to be with the kids on Christmas Eve since they're with their dad that night, .... but I'm also dreading it. Like playing a broken record.

December 24, 2008 - 11:14am

MisCortes, just thinking about both you and Kristin now that it's Christmas Eve.

Have you made plans for Christmas Day? Does it seem doable to you?

Mis, I tihnk it's very cool that you worked on the holiday, and gave someone with a family the chance to be with their kids.

Don't forget, it's just one day. I'll be peeking in on Empowher tomorrow night, be sure to check in and let us know what and how you're doing!

December 24, 2008 - 10:43am
EmpowHER Guest

I am one person that will be spending Christmas alone. I also spent Thanksgiving alone. Thanksgiving did not go over too well. I thought to myself, I would never do the holidays alone again. I cried, self-pitied, and did not answer my phone. It was horrible.

I got out of a 7 year relationship in February and these are the first holidays alone. It is not easy. Self-pity is such an overwhelming emotion. So easy to fall victim to it. For Christmas, I am trying to go to a friends house for dinner or something...just to get out of the house and force myself to be social.

I found that there is one thing that makes the loneliness feel better which would be helping someone else. I chose to work on the holiday since I knew others have families and would want to spend time with them. Especially ones with children. Christmas is such a kid day anyhow. I feel better knowing that I am volunteering myself to take a person's place that has a family.

I hope this story helps....it is not easy but I found solace with volunteer work.

December 20, 2008 - 4:24pm
(reply to Anonymous)

Miscortes, I'm so sorry about what you're going through. Wish I could give you a big hug. (We both need it!!) Are you going to be able to go to a friend's house like you mentioned?

December 24, 2008 - 11:16am

Kristin, I will get a little deeper here but forgive me if I make reference to why do we have Christmas in the first place.

First of all, I do not think the word "alone" should be the concern. We are so busy with the external world that we never have time with the our OWN self. YES, we have built a big hype around Christmas and YES it is time to spend it with family, friends, co-workers, shoppers or why not ALONE! What a great opportunity you have to spend this holiday with YOU and connect with that side who you have little time to be with the rest of the year.

Long time ago in a far away place a little baby was born in a very humble Inn and a manger. No parties, no noise, no big presents, just His earthly parents, shepperds and a few animals. It was a special night for humanity, and in the Silence of that Night, the greatest Teacher and Savior was born in human form. I will reflect on this more than any other time in my life and pray for those who have had to endure suffering: illness, loneliness, financial difficulties, addiction, etc.

Peace and Love is what we need and Christmas offers us an opportunity to renew our commitment to spreading the real message.

December 18, 2008 - 12:00am
(reply to Coach Virginia)

Coach Virginia, I think you've hit on something really important ... that "alone" time is all in your perspective. Thanks for reminding me of this!

December 18, 2008 - 10:07am

My father had a tradition of inviting the "homeless and indigent," as he fondly referred to his employees and colleagues who had no place to go, to share the holidays with us.

One of my kid sisters, rather than spend a holiday alone, would go to a local church or other location to help serve a holiday meal to the needy.

Whether you take the time to reconnect with yourself or to go out and do something for someone else, I hope the spirit of the holidays chases away any possibility of feeling the blues.

December 17, 2008 - 7:27pm
HERWriter Guide

If you were living near me you wouldn't be alone, I'd have you over here. I don't think anyone should be alone for Christmas, that's just me.

We're hosting someone for Christmas Eve evening because they would otherwise be alone and not happy about it.

Like Cyndi said - make it a day all for you! If you go to Church - go. Or you could order in, pig out, veg out, eat whatever you want, watch awesome movies and enjoy a Bailey's on the rocks!

If you like, you can volunteer at a kitchen and serve Christmas lunch.

I love alone-time myself, but not over Christmas. Is this the first time for you, Kristin? Are you semi looking forward to it or dreading it? Do you have any other relatives (aunts/cousins etc) that would gladly have you over, or some friends, perhaps? Most people feel 'the more the merrier' over Christmas, I know I do! We have hosted friends for Thanksgiving several times, it's doesn't have to be blood relatives.

Years ago, an ex-coworker of mine was alone for the first time the same year as her divorce and she has the kids for Thanksgiving and he had them for Christmas. So I called up my relatives and asked if I could take a 'date' for Christmas day and they said sure. In I walked with my galpal! She really enjoyed it.

Either way- alone or with someone- make it a good day for yourself. Light the fire and curl up, or join in some merrymaking somewhere else. I hope you enjoy your day, Kristin!

December 17, 2008 - 1:24pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

You're so sweet, Susan! And I love your idea about volunteering, perhaps at a food bank. As far as how I feel about being alone on Christmas, I honestly haven't thought about it until now because I've been so busy with work and all of the holiday preparations. Plus, subconsciously I probably didn't want to think about it. But Christmas is creeping up, whether I like it or not, so I think I should put a plan in place so I'm not just wandering around the house that day. I like your story of including your girlfriend in your Christmas -- I'm sure she loved that.

December 18, 2008 - 10:05am
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