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Do you care about Valentine's Day?

By February 11, 2009 - 11:35am
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It's funny. Valentine's Day has never meant much to me, at least not since elementary school days, when the number of Valentines in your box
were a direct representation of how popular you happened to be.

Every year, of course, Valentine's Day seems to get bigger, much like other holidays. The world is filled with roses, special dinners, gifts, television commercials for diamonds, and all kinds of tips on what to do for your special guy or girl on that day.

But I'm wondering how many of us do actually love Valentine's Day? I have six close women friends, and only one of them would say that she loves the day (and as she moves into her 30s, I think her interest is waning). That's not much of a ratio.

Is it a holiday for show? Have roses in the office just replaced the valentines of elementary school? Do we really want to make an arbitrary big deal out of February 14, or do we do it because it's expected?

I'm thinking it's gotten to be far more of the latter. Don't get me wrong -- I'm happily married, and I love it when my husband does something special for me. I love flowers or cards just as much as the next person. But it means more to me if it comes on an ordinary day than when it comes on a day that has become almost a required performance.

What about you? Are you like my friend who still looks forward to it as a romantic day? Or has Valentine's Day lost its charm?

Add a Comment13 Comments

Enjoy your sister's night out at Joe's. Why not treat yourselves well!

You're about my daughter's age (she's 24), and I keep telling her that she'll know the right man has come along when her dad and I approve of him. So far, that hasn't happened, lol!

February 12, 2009 - 8:50pm

I’m 25 and don’t have a boyfriend so Valentine’s Day is not that special right now. My past boyfriends always waited until the last minute to do something. I’m hoping to one day meet a man able to change my opinion of Valentine’s Day. For now it’s just me and my sister having dinner at Joe’s crab shack on Valentine’s day…

February 12, 2009 - 8:42pm

I also have a different take on Valentine's Day! As a Health Educator, working with college students, we celebrated the week with wellness events, including the national Sexual Responsibility Week. (It used to be "safer sex" week when I was in school, but that presumes "everyone is having sex" and sexual responsibility can include abstinence!)

So, for the past ten years, I've celebrated an entire week, including Valentine's Day, handing out condoms or lollipops (student's choice!), giving lectures on STDs, and my favorite brochure to hand out? "101 Ways to Not Do It" (it's pro-abstinence brochure, but fun for college students who are in a sexual relationship...it has some fun/silly ideas!)

The best V-day was when we changed the meaning of "V"...and we went to D.C. to watch Eve Ensler's Vagina Monologues. It was a fun, fabulous day, and the entire campus celebrated "V Day" in a new way!

February 12, 2009 - 3:27pm

To answer the question, not really.

Maybe it has something to do with most everyone I know going through a single phase, but I don't know many people who even realized it was quickly approaching (this was last Sunday).

In fact, my roommates and I scheduled to have a party Valentine's day and didn't even realize there was a conflict. The fun part is, since everyone there will be single, it has turned into an anti-V-day party and no one is allowed to wear red or pink.

In truth though, I think it is depressing that people need a holiday to do something nice for the one they love. Sure I love chocolate and flowers, but I rather get this on an ordinary day rather than V-day.

On the flip side, if I wasn't single I would be disappointing if I didn't get anything. It's officially expected to celebrate love on Feb. 14, but I suppose that's not such a bad thing.

February 12, 2009 - 1:28pm

I love that I started this post.

I really enjoy everyone's answers so far, but the two that will change how I feel about the day are Tina's and Virginia's.

Tina, the random acts of kindness day is a very cool idea! I will steal it from your friend and enjoy thinking about the day's "secret" meaning to me.

And Virginia, you've made me think twice about taking anything for granted -- even something they call a "Hallmark holiday." I realize from reading your post that with this, like with so many things, it is what we make it. The vision of you and your husband at that sweet, special table is truly what Valentine's Day should be. I'm counting today as a lesson learned. Thank you.

February 12, 2009 - 8:50am
(reply to Diane Porter)

I'm with you, Diane. I think we should grab at these opportunities to enjoy life. It's so short, as we all know. So what if Valentine's Day is highly commercialized (so is Christmas!) -- let's get on the ride and have fun with it. You never know what kind of memories you'll create and how meaningful they'll be one day. I'm all for being sappy and romantic on Saturday.

February 12, 2009 - 9:55am

Diane P, I found myself hesitating about posting this, but here it is.

I am not close to being romantic, at least it is not my nature but Valentines Day was always a special day for me. My hubby always made it special. Not just because he got me flowers or a piece of jewelry, but because he made it a tradition by finding this romantic little restaurant in our town where he made reservations every year and for the same table. I always looked forward to having the time alone with him surrounded by soft music, dim lights, and a handful of couples celebrating romance. The food, the homemade chocolate and the wine added to the experience and intimacy we could not afford any other time during the year due to our busy lives. We are not able to do this for the past two years because he is now on a feeding tube and totally paralized. However, the memories remain in my heart but I cannot help to feel sad thinking about those happy, romantic moments he created for us.

February 12, 2009 - 2:13am


Valentine's Day is really quite the treat. Either that or like a quick bite to eat. How often is a desert the best part of the meal? This year I'm hoping for something that lasts from this Valentine's Day. The day is special enough for me to except it, but what good is the treat without the meal? Maybe I'm depressed? Maybe there are so many wonderful things in the world that for one day I can look back at how great an impression may be? I hope that that's what Valentine's Day is all about. I can only imagine that someone loved someone so deeply that the day will forever remain a veil of true hearts.

Thanks commenters,


February 12, 2009 - 12:00am

I have to agree with the feeling that Valentine's Day has morphed into a highly commercialized day in our modern society. Nonetheless, it's a special day for my DH and me, one that we're not always able to share ON the 14th because he's usually out of town. Lately, I'm preparing to run a marathon or half marathon (this weekend, it's a marathon). How romantic, NOT!

My DH is a bit of a romantic, which, after 30 years of marriage, is greatly appreciated. We don't go overboard, we just do something meaningful to us. We're into food, wine and roses, and he likes the cards I make for him.

So, yes, I care about Valentine's Day because I am fortunate to have someone special to share it with - on whatever day we can be together.

I worry about how my daughter feels about the day, though. But, that's another story.

Just because we're discussing Valentine's Day, here's something on the origins - and the original meanings.

February 11, 2009 - 8:29pm

What a fun question. I do care about Valentine's Day because about seven years or so ago a friend of mine decided to declare Valentine's Day Random Acts of Kindness Day.

She wasn't dating anyone at the time but thought she could still have some fun. It was one of those things where she would slip a little change into the expired parking meter, let someone go ahead of her in traffic. Nothing big, nothing showy, just small ways to be cool.

Over the years, I've come to appreciate how she's re-associated the purpose of this day for me. So yes, it does mean something to me, but in a slightly different way. My husband and I still exchange gifts, but an old friend's crazy idea just makes the day even better.

February 11, 2009 - 7:28pm
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