ask: Do you care about Valentine's Day?

The only charm in it for me are the handmade cards I get from my kids. I really cherish them!

My husband and I exchange cards - I don't think there is anything wrong with a 'special' day to do this. What's the harm? I know every day should be 'special' but in that case, we could say that about birthdays and anniversaries etc. Other than a card and a kiss, I refuse to waste my time or money on this holiday! Oh, ever the cynic!

I think I got too jaded from working with women (and we can admit that women are the ones who fuss over Valentine's Day, for the most part) who made such a song and dance out of it. They would pout or throw a strop if they didn't get public (and expensive) declarations of love, and then an equally public (and expensive!) dinner out or even a weekend away! I remember one co-worker droning on and on about "he better get me this!" or "I had better get a delivery!" and I really just wanted to lock her in the paper supplies closet for the rest of the day.

Mind you, we were all in our 20s then. I suppose it matters more when we are younger.

Now, a decade or more on, I'm almost anti-Valentine's Day.

On another note, have you noticed that the louder the person is regarding this day, the more likely she is to be in and out of relationships and these relationships never last and tend to be full of drama?

Then ironically you find the people married for 30, 40, 50 years and they'll probably tell you that there were no big deliveries, no diamonds and no vacations to acknowledge this particular holiday.

While we were married, my ex and I never made a big deal at all about Valentine's Day. In fact we were pretty cynical about it. We'd exchange cards, like you and your husband, SusanC, but that's it. Now, I've recently felt like we were missing out on a chance (market-driven or not) to do something special for each other -- to just get swept away in the "holiday" just for the fun of it. Now I'm dating this amazing guy who I'm very much in love with, and I think it will be really fun to enjoy the romance of Valentine's Day. We're actually going out on a "date" the evening of Valentine's -- him, me and my three kids. We're all getting really dressed up and going to a really nice restaurant downtown, and then going to see the Phoenix Symphony and Arizona Ballet Co. perform "Romeo & Juliet." I don't know how much more romantic you could get for Valentine's Day! I'm really excited to actually be doing something for this one.

I am like you, Kristin, I like the romance of it...but don't expect very fancy, expensive gifts...just something thoughtful...like the vegan chocolates I love or something inexpensive and pretty.
I am not cynical about soppiness or romanticism, though I think that some people make a little too much of it.
I like to show my man that I care....and for him to show me that he cares by doing thoughtful things for each other every day, not just on this particular day but it IS nice for a girl to feel a little bit special once in a while and I tend to think that Valentine's day is more for the girls.
I like to be grabbed and kissed and to be surprised with a flower or the promise of a dinner made for me!
Sometimes it seems to me that to embrace the soppiness in life is just to be in love....

What a fun question. I do care about Valentine's Day because about seven years or so ago a friend of mine decided to declare Valentine's Day Random Acts of Kindness Day.

She wasn't dating anyone at the time but thought she could still have some fun. It was one of those things where she would slip a little change into the expired parking meter, let someone go ahead of her in traffic. Nothing big, nothing showy, just small ways to be cool.

Over the years, I've come to appreciate how she's re-associated the purpose of this day for me. So yes, it does mean something to me, but in a slightly different way. My husband and I still exchange gifts, but an old friend's crazy idea just makes the day even better.

I have to agree with the feeling that Valentine's Day has morphed into a highly commercialized day in our modern society. Nonetheless, it's a special day for my DH and me, one that we're not always able to share ON the 14th because he's usually out of town. Lately, I'm preparing to run a marathon or half marathon (this weekend, it's a marathon). How romantic, NOT!

My DH is a bit of a romantic, which, after 30 years of marriage, is greatly appreciated. We don't go overboard, we just do something meaningful to us. We're into food, wine and roses, and he likes the cards I make for him.

So, yes, I care about Valentine's Day because I am fortunate to have someone special to share it with - on whatever day we can be together.

I worry about how my daughter feels about the day, though. But, that's another story.

Just because we're discussing Valentine's Day, here's something on the origins - and the original meanings.

Hello,

Valentine's Day is really quite the treat. Either that or like a quick bite to eat. How often is a desert the best part of the meal? This year I'm hoping for something that lasts from this Valentine's Day. The day is special enough for me to except it, but what good is the treat without the meal? Maybe I'm depressed? Maybe there are so many wonderful things in the world that for one day I can look back at how great an impression may be? I hope that that's what Valentine's Day is all about. I can only imagine that someone loved someone so deeply that the day will forever remain a veil of true hearts.

Thanks commenters,

Cynthia_S_2009

Diane P, I found myself hesitating about posting this, but here it is.

I am not close to being romantic, at least it is not my nature but Valentines Day was always a special day for me. My hubby always made it special. Not just because he got me flowers or a piece of jewelry, but because he made it a tradition by finding this romantic little restaurant in our town where he made reservations every year and for the same table. I always looked forward to having the time alone with him surrounded by soft music, dim lights, and a handful of couples celebrating romance. The food, the homemade chocolate and the wine added to the experience and intimacy we could not afford any other time during the year due to our busy lives. We are not able to do this for the past two years because he is now on a feeding tube and totally paralized. However, the memories remain in my heart but I cannot help to feel sad thinking about those happy, romantic moments he created for us.

I love that I started this post.

I really enjoy everyone's answers so far, but the two that will change how I feel about the day are Tina's and Virginia's.

Tina, the random acts of kindness day is a very cool idea! I will steal it from your friend and enjoy thinking about the day's "secret" meaning to me.

And Virginia, you've made me think twice about taking anything for granted -- even something they call a "Hallmark holiday." I realize from reading your post that with this, like with so many things, it is what we make it. The vision of you and your husband at that sweet, special table is truly what Valentine's Day should be. I'm counting today as a lesson learned. Thank you.

To answer the question, not really.

Maybe it has something to do with most everyone I know going through a single phase, but I don't know many people who even realized it was quickly approaching (this was last Sunday).

In fact, my roommates and I scheduled to have a party Valentine's day and didn't even realize there was a conflict. The fun part is, since everyone there will be single, it has turned into an anti-V-day party and no one is allowed to wear red or pink.

In truth though, I think it is depressing that people need a holiday to do something nice for the one they love. Sure I love chocolate and flowers, but I rather get this on an ordinary day rather than V-day.

On the flip side, if I wasn't single I would be disappointing if I didn't get anything. It's officially expected to celebrate love on Feb. 14, but I suppose that's not such a bad thing.