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Recovering from Online Dating Schemes

By HERWriter
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The past few articles on online dating have dealt with preventing you from becoming a victim of online dating scammers, as well as making sure you’re actually ready for a new relationship. But what if you already are a victim?

There are a whole slew of emotions that need to be addressed. My hope is that this article will help close the door on this issue for you and help build you up again for a healthy relationship you deserve.

“How could I be so gullible?"

Those of you who have been through it know this question. It’s the question you’ve asked yourself a million times in addition to everyone else asking you once you’ve told them your story. Some people are lucky and only have to deal with the emotional issues. Others have to deal with the financial ramifications that come from believing what they were told and believing that they were really helping someone in need.

“How could you fall in love with someone you’ve never met?”
“How could you fall for his lies?”
“How could you not see them for what they were?”
“Are you really that desperate for love?”

The problem with these questions are they all have to do with you when the issue really isn’t you to begin with. Deep down we all believe that most people have good in them. We don’t want to think a person is a liar right from the first few words of their messages to us.

When you're looking for Mr. Right, you’re not looking for a liar. You’re looking for a sensitive, caring man who likes muscle cars or motorcycles, likes to cook, and thinks you’re pretty. There’s nothing wrong with that. Really.

The only problem with that is that these guys who are out to scam you also know that’s what you want, and will create a profile that’s designed to draw you in and make you feel special and loved. They’ve created a lifestyle for themselves out of making victims out of unsuspecting men and women.

There’s not really much to do about the loss of money, if you’re experience has taken you that far. The only answer to these questions is to be aware now of the scheme, and not let them make you or anyone else a victim. Report these guys to the online dating sites.

Add a Comment2 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

I am not against internet dating. it may be cheaper than most but the risk factor is also more. You cannot trust a person without actually meeting him/her. Personal thought though.
Dating and money

February 13, 2011 - 11:48pm
HERWriter (reply to Anonymous)

I don't think it's any more or less riskier then perhaps going to a bar. Of course face-to-face is always good, but it doesn't eliminate the possibility that someone is lying to you or just putting on a good show.

You have to be cautious and aware and observant in any scenario regardless of whether you're dating online or offline.

February 14, 2011 - 8:09am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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