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A Stress Lesson from Solitaire

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I admit it; I’m addicted to Solitaire on my Android phone and iPad. There, I said it. Now let’s move on.

The other day I was playing and suddenly remembered something my mother told me when she was teaching me the card game when I was about 10. It happened like this:

I asked, “How do you know when the game is over?”

She said, “When you go through the deck in your hand and there are no more plays. It won’t matter how many times you go through it, there will never be any more plays because if nothing changes, nothing changes.”

Think about that: “If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

Many of us go through life afraid of change. The fact is, however, that change is a part of life and nothing really ever stays the same. We know that intellectually but that is often lost on us emotionally: change is scary, period.

But think about it. If nothing changes, then our problems and challenges won’t go away either. If nothing changes in our world, then our problems and challenges will stay the same. Something has to change somewhere for the bad stuff to go away.

Granted, some changes in our lives don’t directly affect our challenges, but it’s all part of the process. Those changes will inevitably lead to the changes that will actually help us. Maybe that will have to happen a few times before you get to the layer that you need, but the point is this: change is a good thing because without it the bad stuff stays in our lives.

“If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

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The fact is that change is a part of life and nothing really ever stays the same. We know that intellectually but that is often lost on us emotionally, change is scary, period.


February 28, 2012 - 1:21am
EmpowHER Guest

Simple really when you think about it. This has helped me to clarify in my mind what I need to say to a friend who is struggling at the moment - I knew the answer but just didn't know how to phrase it .. many thanks.

April 15, 2011 - 3:47am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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