Women need men. Society and culture has been telling us for the longest time. A fairly new concept is that women can be independent, but there seems to be conflicting views. The idea of dependence versus independence can cause internal conflict, according to Colette Dowling's book, ''The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence."
Dowling suggests in her novel that women who worked are especially affected by this dependency especially during the 80s and in previous years.
Psychological effects of this dependency and conflict are lack of self esteem, lack of confidence, anxiety and inability to function in the work place according to Dowling. She talks about how girls are not weaned as soon as boys are from dependent behaviors and are treated differently (seen as more fragile).
Although some aspects of Dowling’s discussion may have changed in this new era, there are many remnants today. For example, society tells us still that women should want to be in relationships because healthy relationships are essential for happiness and women will regret being alone. Not all of this is a conscious message, but in many cases it is implied.
There is also the push to be feminine, to work in feminine jobs, to have children and start a family and to be a housewife. There is the idea that both the husband and wife should share roles, but the man should still be more in charge of earning money and the woman’s main role is with the house and family.
Look at magazines, books, movies and TV. What do they say? “Learn to please your man” or “how to get a man” are popular articles in magazines. There are also books, like “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough,” by Lori Gottlieb. Look at movies and books like the Twilight series, where the relationship depends solely on what the man wants and the woman is left as an empty shell and always fearful of abandonment.
There are even blogs and articles devoted to how women’s dependence on men still exists today. Not surprisingly, the two I found are written by men.