Suicide has been in the headlines recently, with the deaths of former Growing Pains actor Andrew Koenig in Vancouver and Michael Blosil, the son of Marie Osmond.
Both had a long history of depression.
It's too general to say that everyone who commits suicide has a form of mental illness or depression. Criminals have committed suicide rather than face long prison terms and stockbrokers have killed themselves when they find all their money gone. While depression many also be a factor in these cases-fear, revenge, guilt and obsession with materialism also plays a part.
But most suicide cases are not due to crimes or misdemeanors. They are a result of hopelessness, despair, loneliness and depression. Addiction may also be a factor. Depression may be as a result of abuse in their past or present, unresolved conflict, death or illness of loved ones, substance abuse or their own health.
According to suicide.org, depression is the leading cause of suicide. Empowher describes depression as "a mental illness characterized by feelings of profound sadness and lack of interest in enjoyable activities. Depression is not the same as a blue mood. It is a persistent low mood that interferes with the ability to function and appreciate things in life. It may cause a wide range of symptoms, both physical and emotional. It can last for weeks, months, or years. People with depression rarely recover without treatment.
Risk factors include:
◦Sex: female
◦Age: elderly
◦Chronic physical or mental illness, including thyroid disease, headaches, chronic pain, and stroke
◦Previous episode of depression
◦Major life changes or stressful life events (eg, bereavement, trauma)
◦Postpartum depression
◦Winter season for seasonal affective disorder
◦Little or no social support
◦Low self-esteem
◦Lack of personal control over circumstances
◦Family history of depression (parent or sibling)
◦Feelings of helplessness
◦Certain medications, including medications used to treat asthma , high blood pressure , arthritis, high cholesterol , and heart problems
◦Smoking
◦Anxiety
◦Insomnia
◦Personality disorders
◦Hypothyroidism
Symptoms
Symptoms of depression are highly variable from person to person. Some people have only a few symptoms, while others have many. Symptoms also vary over time.
Symptoms can change over time and may include:
◦Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or emptiness
◦Hopelessness
◦Feeling guilty, worthless, or helpless
◦Loss of interest in hobbies and activities
◦Loss of interest in sex
◦Feeling tired
◦Trouble concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
◦Trouble sleeping, waking up too early, or oversleeping
◦Eating more or less than usual
◦Weight gain or weight loss
◦Thoughts of death or suicide with or without suicide attempts
◦Restlessness or irritability
◦Physical symptoms that defy standard diagnosis and do not respond well to medical treatments
For more, including diagnosis and treatment, click on our Depression page here : https://www.empowher.com/media/reference/depression#definition
What surprised me were the comments written on the many news stories and blogs regarding the well publicized cases of Andrew Koenig and Michael Blosil. Some called them selfish, self-obsessed people who didn't care about who they left behind. And who didn't care about the aftermath of their death. The guilt of families and friends. The permanent thoughts of "why" and "what could I have done to prevent this?" that can plague their loved ones forever.
Suicide has nothing to do with selfishness-rather, it is the final, dark and desperate end of depression, when mind and body no longer can function in a normal way. People who commit suicide are generally unable to even understand the effect their death will have on others - the level of their mental illness has destroyed any hope for logical or practical thought.
Families are left behind with all that remorse, guilt and unfathomable sadness. Sometimes it consumes them and it remains with them for life. There is help for families and friends of suicide victims and it can be found here at Survivors of Suicide. Local state-by-state support groups are also here: http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com/help_heal.shtml
Families and friends should know that they are never to blame for a loved one's suicide.
Suicide can be prevented-
Strategies to reduce your chance of becoming depressed include:
◦Being aware of your personal risk
◦Having a psychiatric evaluation and psychotherapy if needed
◦Developing social supports
◦Learning stress management techniques
◦Exercising regularly
◦Do not abuse or overuse alcohol or drugs
◦Getting adequate sleep, rest, and recreation
For anyone thinking of suicide, please reach out. If you feel you can't reach families or don't have friends to connect to, you can contact us here on Empowher for guidance or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) - these lines are open available 27/7/365
In case of emergency, please call 911.
Tell Us
Has suicide affected your life?
All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.
Add a Comment20 Comments
My husband of 22 years killed himself after I left him for another man. I am riddled with guilt and after 3 years I still cry everyday. I loved my husband, but we drifted apart My children are devastated and are now suffering from emotional and psychological disorders. I can't get over the guilt and sadness I feel.
April 23, 2017 - 5:33pmThis Comment
How do I live with the guilt of my husband killing himself because I left him. It is unbearable-my children blame me and I blame me. I have not been able to function normally for a year now and all I feel is pain. Every moment I'm alive on this earth is s moment he has missed. I'm Catholic and I think God will send me to hell for leaving him and the results of that. Did I kill my husband? Because I feel like I did.
April 10, 2016 - 3:04pmThis Comment
Where do I begin? Summer of 1985.... I met this sweet, quiet, respectful guy with the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen.... we were going steady within the month and spent every moment we could together... Christmas 1985 he asked me to marry him and I said YES! He was 20, I was 16. Fast forward to August 9, 1986, our wedding day... best day of my life, we were so very happy. We had so many plans for our life... I was a senior in High school (17 years old) he was working full time (20 years old)
February 10, 2016 - 5:55pm5 weeks....6 days after our wedding day on a Friday night at 9:45 PM, he was dead!!!!!! We were arguing and I said I was leaving... his arms held onto me from behind and his very last words were oh God, I can't take this.... he let me go, turned and walked into our bedroom and shot himself. I was still standing there... maybe 15 feet away... I ran to him but it was too late!!!! My whole life, world, existence change in that split second.
That was or will be 30 years ago this August. I have never recovered from this... I wake up every day thinking about him, I go to sleep every night thinking about him. What if, what if, what if.... I play out how things could have been, I wonder what we would be today, how life could have been so different... I have spent more than half my life living in such sadness... I don't think I even know what happiness is anymore. I look at our wedding photos and video and I can't remember who that happy girl is....
Life has pushed me forward for 30 years and all I want is to go back....inside I am screaming to just go back. I want him back, I want our life back!!!! We were just getting started, we had so many plans... I will never understand why he left me here...why didn't he kill me first? Did he realize how much hell my life would be? Why marry me and then leave me? What if I wouldn't have said I was leaving, would he have still killed himself eventually? How did I not know this was coming? ??? WILL I EVER FIND PEACE???
This Comment
My 1st ex-husband committed suicide because he had a girlfriend who cheated on him; even with his twin brother, she would beat on him, tell him he was a loser; then turn around and sleep with him. His family were fed up with his drinking, lack of job and not being able to cope with life. He left our 6 year old daughter behind and me (his #1 supporter) with broken hearts and his family to deal with. Now 4 days ago my husband now committed suicide and there was really no warning. He did have depression and was not being very nice; but I just figured he was depressed over the loss of his mother 2 months before. I would ask him how he was doing with it and all he said is that there was good days and bad.
October 9, 2014 - 12:18amWe own and operate a cleaning business that is extremely busy and at times over whelming. We were finishing up a clients home when I asked him to clean a counter he missed. He became furious with them and told me all I do is criticize his work. He through a bottle of Windex down and stormed out and left me at our clients home. He drove home and directly went into our garage and hung himself. He did not leave a note and I just can not understand what would have drove him to this and how could he have done this to us again as he watched us go through all the pain before. He adored my daughter and I and couldn't stand to be away for me longer than 10 minutes. When he did this; he took his wedding ring off and attached it to the rope. I am wondering if anyone could give me answers because I can not understand why this happened?
This Comment
My partner hung himself a few weeks ago. I do not agree with your comment that the person who commits suicide are uncomfortable the impact of those left behind. He was well aware, his brother also hung himself a few years ago. I'm left with intense emotional feelings, I wake up thinking about him, going over conversations we had, I go to bed doing exactly the same. I'm a psychiatric nurse so will be looked on as questioned as too why I didn't see it coming. Since it has happened I have found out he wasn't the person he made out he was. I have also started to realise what he did to me was emotional abuse. Our relationship was very up and down, we did so many good things together and he was very good with my daughter. I loved the him but also hated what he was putting me through. He was intimidating at times, threatening and this lead to me repeatedly telling him he was not the right person for me and my daughter. He would make me feel like he was going to either hurt me, himself or trash my home. This went on for 2 years, he would excuse his behaviour and project on me blaming me for his moods and the nasty things he would say. He was extremely controlling, and would accuse me of going off with other men. I have now found out that it was him having the affair, I have also found out he was in debt and was owing money for drugs. Despite all this I'm hurting so much, the day he hung himself he was telling me how much he loved me and how we could work on helping each other trust each other. He was also due to start a new job and was very happy and excited about this. I knew he had some debt, but knew nothing about poly drug use. What is even worse I found out he has got a woman pregnant, he had always said he wanted to have a family and would love the chance to be a father like. Why I keep asking, I gave him every opportunity to leave me alone and walk away. He could of had what he always said he wanted.
August 25, 2014 - 1:23amThis Comment
Although suicide shouldn't be blamed on anyone, I do feel that there are certain factors that can lead to it. For example, if someone has depression and tries to get help but there are multiple roadblocks on the way to recovery, like lack of health insurance, high costs for medication and therapy (with little income), and minimal family/friend support, it's understandable how that person would get into an even worse state of mind and contemplate committing suicide.
January 26, 2011 - 9:09pmThis Comment
Hi Shannon,
January 15, 2011 - 12:03pmMy ex-husband also committed suicide and it always leaves many open ended questions to the loved ones left behind. Have you ever sought help for dealing with the struggles of suicide? Susan did leave a great support line above for people searching for help dealing with loss.
Welcome to EmpowHer and we certainly look forward to hearing from you again,
Missie
This Comment
Hey,it's Shannon. I didn't bother to log in. Wonder why?
I just found out a few weeks ago that I am allegedly bipolar. Did not see that coming.
March 13, 2011 - 3:32pmThis Comment
That's what I would like to know because my mom did it when I was 24 years old. Almost ruined my life. Well in a lot of ways it did.
January 15, 2011 - 11:58amThis Comment
I have been one of those who wanted to do this. It was when I was a child of about 12 years old. My home life was not great at all. My father was extremely strict and made rules and decision based on the most rediculous things. My siblings were usually treated much better than I was and for no reason. I spent most of my childhood screaming in side yet to afraid to find help. I am a 43 year old woman now and remember how I felt then, like it was just yesterday. I was a prisoner inside myself. One evening I took a handful of Bufferin... probably only about 10. the next day I wasn't moving quite fast enough for my father on the way to ski lessons and when I broke down crying I admitted that I had taken a bunch of the pills. His only response was, "at least you won't have a headache". You have no idea how much courage it took for me to tell him what I had done. Again I was pushed to the side and ordered onto the hill for lessons. This is a very simple example of what I went through for years on end. emotional abuse and occassional physical abuse. I hate him to this day. He still has a way of getting to me. I have decided not to communicate with him and it has been approximately 6 months. still hard not to hear and feel what i was going through. I still understand very well why I entertained the thought and started the process. Yes it is sad and very much real. don't ever expect anyone to think of the carnage being left behind for everyone else to feel....everyone else being those who were aiding in inflicting what brought me to that point
January 4, 2011 - 11:59amThis Comment