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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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My boyfriend has been doing the same thing. We used to have sex more than the average couple, and now that we've been together for about a year, he's got no interest. whenever we do have sex, i have to try really really hard. but for the past month, i'll try to have sex with him, he'll turn me down, then i'll catch him masturbating in the bathroom. i tried to talk to him about it, and he gets really defensive like i'm trying to start an argument with him. so i guess the difference between you and me is that your boyfriend says it isn't your fault. my boyfriend won't even talk about it long enough to give me an answer. i just wish he knew how much it hurts my feelings and how much i take it personally.
August 28, 2010 - 6:13amThis Comment
I have some problem with my boyfriend we start having sex all the time now we have it like once month been with him for 5 years now . but we dont have sex that much anymore. There is something worry.
August 26, 2010 - 3:10pmThis Comment
He's gay
August 23, 2010 - 8:58pmThis Comment
This is happening to me and I know I am still attractive and young..This has never happened to me before with anyone I have ever been with any guy who didn't want sex...Everyone always tells me how exotic and beautiful I am; even him, but he tells me hes soo stressed out right now and this is the most stressed out time in his life.When I said something to him, he told me that sex is the last thing on his mind right now.I am pregnant right now, so my hormones are going crazy and I feel like I need it.I feel stressed because he does'nt want it right now..I feel like since I said something he is going to want it just to shut me up...and he made me feel like I am insecure and I feel like I have never been in thhis situation, but I love him and all I want is him..I just wish that it could be about me once in a while...Is that so wrong??To want to be pleased by him..I am afraid that it is affecting our relationship.Its not that I want it everyday either just more than a few time a month!!
August 23, 2010 - 2:10amHe told me that I should be happy that he wants to hang out with me all the time and doesnt just want sex..That he can actually hangout with me and not have to have sex to enjoy time with me.Well I guess because I love him all I can do is wait..Just hopefully not too long and I can help hime cope with his stress any way I can until he decides he want me..I am willing to do whatever it takes..
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As a guy myself, I just say, There be months at a time where I dont want to. And its just because Im bored of it. Its always the same thing and she wants me to make the first move. I get tired of doing all the legwork. So until she wants it enough to take charge, I'll just kick it chillax.
August 22, 2010 - 12:18pmThis Comment
i think sometimes we overthink things, i have this problem a lot, to take the pressure off indulge in other things, suggest a romantic dinner at home, but dont end with sex, play a board game and then go to bed, suggest going to a show, or concert or some outdoor activity so you would be tired when you reach home and go straight to bed. Try and keep the emphasis off sex and see what happens. Good luck
August 21, 2010 - 9:12amThis Comment
my boyfriend is 42 and i'm 34 years old we've been 2gether for 5 years and a half.At first he wanted to have sex all the time,but the last 2 years and a half he doesn't even make an effort.When i am approaching him for sex he rejects me always with excuses like "im tired,i'm drunk ,im sleepy .or he said we will have sex for this weekend dont worry , but now almost this weekend more than 2 years still is not coming , what i should do? he told me always i love you so much , and i will change dont worry just give me time , i'm really tired and i don't know what i should do ?? i really like him :((
August 19, 2010 - 10:27amThis Comment
Hi Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing your story. It is true that when you gain weight not only do you feel less attractive but there are other things that go on inside your body also. When you stop doing physical activities, your body stops creating endorphines (these make us happy). Now, endorphines are very important in libido.
I will just assume that if you get your boyfriend to be more active, this may boost his libido and his sex drive will become more energetic as well as his body image and how he thinks of himself. Self image is very important when it comes to intimacy. I know when I am close to period time: in my head, I feel as if I weight as much as a humpback whale which in turn my libido may not be as strong as a normal day.
Try to get him to be more active, even if it is a walk in the park. This may help him put the pieces back together not only for himself but for you also.
Let us know how it works. Remember patience too. This will not happen overnight just as we do not gain 20 lbs overnight. Good luck!
August 15, 2010 - 8:22amThis Comment
hi! miscortes,
i've read all of your advices and things not to do, it has worked out a bit to me, but still in the process.. i give my sympathy to all women like me who's going thru like hell.. i know how they feel...
im glad i found this site, it really helped.. now i wanna share what i've been thru and still going thru...
after i took empowher's advices my husband changed a bit, i can really relate how bad it sucks wanting him 2 do it because he wants it, but he doesn't. sometimes i feel like giving up... i tried talking it out with him, i tried asking why wont he? i also tried seducing him.. seducing does work but its kinda tiring.. i don't want making him want me always.. it's really tiring.. i also want to feel good having sex with him, i want him making me feel good, not just the other way around.. i mean i don't mind making him satisfied, but i also have my needs to feel..
after taking the advices i read, we started to have sex againg at least 2x a week now? but still not enough coz it's me who keeps on asking.. it's me who's doing all the foreplay and sensual stuff... i really miss those days when he's the one who keeps on asking, he even gives me surprise sex! he would just pull me inside our room, ripe off my cloths, touch me everywhere and makes me just scream for more... i really kinda miss it a lot... we've been only for almost 3 years now..and been married for almost 2 years... it's kinda very frustrating.. hope to have more advices..
please help me... enlighten me..
August 17, 2010 - 7:11amim only 23 years old, and i think i'm too young to have my sex life all dried up already!
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Thats what im saying!! As much as I want him to be the one asking for sex . . . I'd like him to focus some attention on me! I always do the seducing and finish him and what do i get? A halfhearted bit of rubbing that does nothing unless he seems into it or is excited to see me turned on. Guys are extremely selfish when it comes to sex tho i would take him wanting me and only thinking of himself over him not even bringing up the thought of sex. Ive had to have finished him literally over a thousand times in over a year . . . thats how long we've been together. I can honestly say that during that time i have NEVER been finished. I know its harder for girls to finish but it doesnt help that hes not once put as much effort as i have an any occasion. And now he doesnt even want it. He sometimes grabs me or gets a boner . . . but he'll just want a blow job or sometimes nothing further. I'll get him somehow . . . Im going to try what i failed at before . . . not bringing it up but wearing cuter stuff around the house and stuff . . . lame? pointless? we'll see . . . i"ll let u know
August 19, 2010 - 9:40pmThis Comment