Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?

I'm sorry this is so long! My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in four months. I'm 32, he is 29, and we have been together for 4.5 years. My situation is a bit different from everyone else. I have two daughters (not his) and I work at home. My boyfriend has worked nights managing a strip club for the past 2 years. He fell into this job when he was desperate for cash, and there is no escaping it now. Our sexual relationship has really gone downhill over the past year. He has three nights a week off and is always "too tired and stressed" to have sex. I do know that he watches porn and masturbates when he's not with me. I feel completely sexually deprived. I am so depressed. I am a slim, beautiful women, and I get compliments from other men all the time. I care deeply about the way I look, always wanting my hair to be perfect, wear nice clothes and makeup etc. My boyfriend swears he isn't cheating on me, but I'm incredibly insecure about his job; especially when he hasn't touched me in months. He drinks when he is working (they all do), and I know for a fact that he finds one of the strippers (most are ugly and annoying) very attractive. They have become "good friends" over the past two years. The thing is, I know he loves me. He is kind, gentle and considerate. He loves my daughters, and he takes care of us. I feel like I'm going insane! I don't get out much. I'm always home, waiting, wondering. I feel so incredibly insecure. I've started thinking (a lot)about sex with others, and on the occasion I go out without him, I am ALL about other guys. I feel sooo desperate for sexual attention. I don't really want to cheat on my boyfriend. I love him. And I know that cheating is a dealbreaker for him. He would leave without thinking twice. But I can't handle feeling this way anymore. I've talked, cried and begged for sex! I've initiated and been rejected. I dress sexy. It infuriates me! I'm attractive damn it! Why doesn't he want me? I'm hurting so much. Is this crazy? Are we women insane for being so preoccupied with sex or lack thereof? I don't know. :(

Hi,
I am in a similar situation. My lover just cant keep an erection when he is inside me or, lately does'nt want to have sex as often as we used to. I must admit he's older by 18 years but age was'nt a problem before. It started when a new girl came to work with us, I found things was fishy, I eventually caught her whispering to him several times only to be told he did'nt see anything but she could never explain herself. I felt so hurt as I was doing everything for him, she was not goodlooking and I often wondered what he saw in her if he was cheating on me with her. There were many things that was swept under the rug because I honestly dont want to lose him. I was feeling so cheated and he is very possessive and does'nt allow me to go anywhere often.I lied about going out one time with family because I was scared of him not letting me go. yes it was with family but he says he can never trust me. Later I found out he told her lots of things in my absence and gave her very personal advice which I thought he was out of place to do if he was'nt involved. I dont know if it was to get back at me for lying. She is gone now but I still dont know for sure if he was involved or still is. He always tells me there was nothing but now he's struggling to make one round when we used to do two and three per day, four or five days a week. It makes me feel like I am too wet or to loose or that he is getting it somewhere else. I love him very much, I dont want to leave him but I need some sort of advice. Can someone help.........

he might of secretly did wit some 1 else so u do same

As a guy, i have to say its not necessarily because of cheating or not being attracted to you. I haven't really felt like having sex with my girlfriend for a few months now. I'm not cheating and she's hot and all. I just don't really feel like having sex

I think men want their cake and eat it, too. They want their gf to cook and drink beer with them and eat with them but most girls are really petite and can't afford to indulge in calories that much. If they don't drink with the guy they get mad and throw the girl out and call her ugly, ugly names. If they eat with the guy and kiss their asses they get fat and then the guy dumps them quietly but either way they get dumped. Unless they have a lot of brothers who will threaten the guy with serious violence unless they keep their sister happy, the girl is either in a sexless relationship or called a slutty slut, no good whore by everybody because she's bouncing men because she wants what she deserves and waited and kept pure and alone her whole entire life for...sex.

wow yall r saying sex is number one priority for men...yall are very ignorant about how u view men, yall actually seem like yall want sex more then anybody...but i the man doesnt hes cheating...women are crazy....now i know why im gay...

Well from a guy who is going through the male half of this right now... how often did you have sex... and how ofter did you start the ball rolling? Myself... my sex drive is doing a nose dive because about 98% of the time when I show interest, it results in a turn down... and when it doesn't... its always the same thing. She rarely wants to try something new and I can sum up her sex drive in two words " not there ". So as a guy... how long do we really want to keep trying? She loves me very much and I her. We live together and there is no way either of us is cheating or even looking at someone else. ( our relationship is great other than this )
So Mrs Kitty... you should maybe take a look at the past history. It is human to try things that don't work, but to quote a brilliant man "insanity is to doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

hey miss kitty .. i knowjust how you feel my relationship is the same and to be honest my boyfriend has always had a low intrest in sex . we have been togeither for almost 3 yrs now . hes really not the most affeconate type at all . but claims hes had lots of sex in the past . hes only 27 and im lucky to be getting it once a moth at the minnit . hes deffo not gay . hes deffo not cheating because there is no time for him to cheat lol .. we have the same convo about it and he says he dosnt see a problem with it . but i do i know sex isnt everything in life but it should be there and nothing beats that closeness with a partner . .. it goes around and around in my head and i just dont understand why .and i ask him if its me and if he still fancies me ect ect . and i know he loves me or he wouldnt be here with me hes not that type hed be gone .. he is a big stress head and i know that he watches porn and masterbates . i know that is normal for a man and a woman its natural to do that ive suggested to him to watch porn and he said he dosnt see the point . .. but i know he hasnt always been like this . . oh and when we do havesex he really enjoys it i just do not get it please helpppppppppppp :o)