Why Doesn't my boyfriend want to have sex with me anymore?
We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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Miss Kitty,
First of all, I'm so glad you found EmpowHer. Thanks for your question.
If I could talk to your boyfriend, some of the first things I'd ask about are whether he's changed anything in the last few months.
-- Any specific changes in diet and/or nutrition?
-- Any changes (less or more) in the amount of exercise he's getting?
-- Any new medications he's taking, or vitamins or supplements?
-- Anything happening at work or school that is worrying him? I know you said that you don't think there's anything specific on his mind, but if this is a really busy time for him -- and if he's both working and attending school -- it might be a factor.
The hormone testosterone has everything to do with a man's sex drive, just like our hormones have so much to do with our own sex drive. Hormones fluctuate in both men and woman. And while it's normal to have much more sex at the beginning of a relationship than later, it does seem like a fairly drastic change in the last few months.
Has anything changed in the dynamic of your relationship? Meaning, is one of you more serious about the relationship than the other? Or someone's living arrangement has changed? Or someone's schedule has changed? Is he still sleeping well at night?
So often, what we think is medical or psychological has an actual base in our diet, our nutrition, our sleep, our work, our play, and our level of exercise. The first thing I'd ask is if any of those changed significantly recently.
Here's a question I hate to ask, but I will: Are you very sure that he still feels the same way about the relationship that he used to?
And about how old is he?
Please see if you can get back to us with some answers to these questions and we'll see if we can find anything that might help.
Hi i have the same problem and its hurting me really bad he doesn't want to have sex with me its been 2 months and before we used to have sex all the time and know hes stressed and he tells me that its not me and that he needs time i don't know if hes cheating but in my mind he did do something and hes not telling me i really need help what should i do i love him but he tells me that he dont want to
I can tell you that he did cheat on you and he's having better sex with the other person...that's why doesnt want to have sex with you anymore...sorry to say so, but i'm experiencing this now & dont know how to get myself out of the situation and I'm a female!
You don't know he cheated. Perhaps the stress has just resulted in a decreased sexual desire. Try to spice it up and seduce him.
Look men are evil They stop loving you before you can even realize there's a problem. If hes gone let him go he may run with the wind but atleast you ended out on top. I hate watching boys take advantage of the way we love them and I think if you arn't happy anymore how can they be. Just let them go it will hurt for a long time and youll want them back but never go for the pity relationship it ends way worse then the first go around.