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We've been dating for over a yer now but in the last few months our sex has drastically decreased at first started to go down from at least 1-2 times a day for at least 5 months and then it went down to 1-2 times a week and then to 1-2 times a month and now it's been a month and a half since we've had sex. I've read a few articles about this allready, but none seem to fit my problem exactly. I was worried for a while that it might be me that was the problem and but he told me it wasn't and i know he wouldn't lie to me. I've asked him about it but he says theres nothing wrong. I just don't know what to do anymore. He's only a year older than me and he's suppose to be in hes prime. Is there anything I can do? I Haven't pressured him or anything because I dont want him to do it just to shut me up. I want him to want to. and I'm just not satistied anymore and im not asking for everyday, at this point once or twice a week would be nice. A far as I know there's nothing he's stressed about at work or school, could it be a cobination of the 2? or something else going on that I don't know about? and please keep in mind that im am searching for help and advice and I don't want to hear find a new boyfriend. I love him and im not leaving him, even if it means were not going to have sex anymore. But it's frustration for the time being as I find it a tad odd that I want it more than he does. and I don't really want to talk to any of my friends abotu it because I live in a small town and this is personal and I don't need everyone talking about it. and the last thing I want him to feel is embarassed. I havn't told anyone of my friends but I'm in need of some advice. Any Ideas?
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well we have same problem ..
April 25, 2013 - 6:41pmmy boyfriend and me are 1 year in a relationship we used to had sex 3 to 4 times in 1 day but slowly slowly his not interested to do it actually its ok with me but its kinda weird though coz he masturbate in front of me and if im not into his place his watching porn kinda make me feel ugly unwanted....
This Comment
Hello Anonymous,
No one should ever make you feel ugly or unwanted. Every one is beautiful in her own way. Every one needs to be loved. Your boyfriend's choice to masturbate in front of you, instead of being sexually intimate with you, is insulting.
You need to ask yourself why are you staying in this relationship. Move on, you deserve better. Continuing in this relationship can negatively affect your self-esteem. The longer you subject yourself to his sexual avoidance of you, the worse you will feel about yourself.
Regards,
Maryann
April 26, 2013 - 4:51pmladies, find out of your man watches porn..it has been studed that it lowers their interest in their partner..
go to: www.yourbrainonporn.com
read some of the testimonials from the men...it might be surprising to you
My boyfriend and I have been going out for over 7 years and I noticed in the past year and half that the passion faded, and hardly had sex...one time I didn't initiate sex just to see how long it would take for him to initiate..and he never did..I ended up giving in bcuz obviously I have needs(it lasted 3 months)..and then I tried again but still gave in and initiated sex(that lasted 2 and a half months). the sex is never good like it use to be..it's the same old routine.... I recently found porn on his phone and he has masturbated in the bathroom with his phone in the morning..assuming I was asleep.. But if you go to the website I think it could help anyone who is in the same situation as me...show the site to him...I have read a lot of good things from women when they showed their man the site..but just make sure he fits the criteria first...I'm still working on my man...I feel like if he doesn't realize he doesn't need to make a change....I don't think I can live a life with someone when the relationship does not feel complete....everything else is great, and he's affectionate...but passion is gone and sex is very rare for us. I use to feel like the problem was me but I have read so many testimonials from women and a lot of what I read have the recurring theme of their boyfriends/husbands watching porn...but never having sex with them.
good luck ladies..we're all together in this.
April 23, 2013 - 1:41pmI am so sexually frustrated! My boyfriend and I live together and we haven't had sex in over two months. I've talked to him about it and asked him why he never wants to, he never has a good reason. We used to be so into each other, we would have sex a few times a week. Now I'll be lucky if he even looks at me... uhh.. I don't know what to do. I can't just move out with nowhere to go, and I can't get my own place, too expensive. So I am stuck in a sexless, boring relationship. I miss feeling wanted. I miss having someone excited to be with me. I am afraid to start all over and become single, what if I never find someone? :( This sucks. I love him, but I don't feel loved by him....
April 19, 2013 - 10:11pmAnon
Would you rather be with him and feel horrible than alone and happy? Alone doesn't mean lonely!
Set your goals higher for yourself. A man at any cost isn't worth it, if you are not happy and if he doesn't love you.
Get a room-mate or a second job and move out on your own. Get your independence and in doing that, you'll probably find a man who truly loves you. Men love a confident woman who is ok on her own, as well as with someone.
If you don't have children, then moving out isn't the nightmare you think. Do some research, do a house share, work hard and live your own life. It's depressing to be in a loveless relationship because any man is better than no man. That's not something that women should believe in!
Best,
Susan
April 25, 2013 - 1:25pmSo it's not only me being abandoned? ((( We are 9 months now. It was perfect until the last month. Every time i want to initiate intimacy, he is tired, or busy, or needs to get up early. Im adventurous in bed, sexy lingerie and all... i thought maybe he has some problems, but no - today i found out he watches porn and masturbates on it. That lowers my confidence, i dont feel attractive and desired. I don't know what to do now.
April 13, 2013 - 12:53pmHow did you find out he watches porn?
April 16, 2013 - 9:35pmCould it be that you have gain a bunch of weight? Its a real turnoff for guys when their girl was in good shape when they were dating, then they turn into a couch potato hamster as soon as things get serious.
April 7, 2013 - 1:13pmWow! I was worried that i was the only one suffering from this, because all the other couples seems so sweet together.
April 2, 2013 - 12:16ammy bf and i have been dating for 8 month. for the first 6 month, we were quite active and he enjoyed dirty talking and jokes. but now, it seemed like that he is not that into physical anymore, and I am always the one who asks for "alone time" since he doesn't mention it anymore. we still hang out when ever we have time. but i just feel like i am unwanted, and he is not that sexually attracted to me anymore, which is making me very sad.
Hi Anon
If you are only hanging out together when you have time and there is no sex, then it looks like your relationship has turned into a friendship which is perfectly fine as long as you are both clear about this.
Best,
Susan
April 2, 2013 - 12:51pm