I hope this wont upset or disturb any of the readers, as i have seen they are more ladies than gents (As most of the Gents are less understandable and more judge mental) . I am a male but i do have some understanding with the ladies and some of the males. I hope you Ladies would except me into your personal blog as i would feel more comfortable here.
I am gay, and i know there is allot of disagreements why there is homosexuals in the world but that can be left for another discussion. I was not nurturer gay i was born gay because as long as i can remember i did like men. As most of you know/understand how guys are, i had my first experience when i was still young. I have carried on being rough in my sexual ways (my slu.....) period until i was about St6.
When i was in the Primary school i was a very active boy, i have trained 5 days a week during the after noons and then i still had class at my instructor on Tuesdays and Thursdays and every Saturday and then once a month we had championships. So if you can imagine how much energy i was putting out and how much i should needed to eat to sustain myself. (I left my training just before i ended my primary school and still ate the way i ate and did not do any exercise at all so all of the food went to everywhere you can possibly think. And that is when i think i started to get depressed as i lost all my friends and had family issue (financial issues and my parents talked about separating) and started to think how i am going to break the news to my parents that i am homosexual.
After about 2 years when i was almost obese I trained again and i think i also got my growth spurt so i have lost a heavily amount of weight and thus i thought i contracted HIV. I have made a promise to myself and to whom some of you believe is the higher power above, if i did not contract any disease i would stop fondling around with so many guy and i was HIV - so i kept my promise.
I was for 2 years non sexual did not even re-leaved myself as that was not even an factor in my life. I have finished school and i have met a really nice guy and i usually do not get emotionally attached. On our first date he told me he does 3 some's and i did not mind at that time as we weren't together and i thought it would usually not last than longer than a month.
After a Month we moved into together and as he warned me he still done what he told me he like doing. I think the more it happened i got more in love with his as he is an very open honest person that does not want to do things behind my back. But i still could not handle me sharing the person that i actually love. But he did warn me beforehand and we had allot of discussions regarding the scenario. But he only wanted it when we where on narcotics, so it was possibly once a month.
After a year we stayed together we started a business and was running the business for one year more whilst we where involved and then we broke up as i could not handle the pressure of what he expectations was, was way for me so i turned to prescribed medication and was drinking about a half a bottle to a full bottle of Vodka a day.
The way we broke up was a warning from him if i take one more sleeping tablet we would break up, and i wanted to break up with him about a year ago but i truly honestly did love him and i thought he would change and visa versa. And now I do not drink extensively anymore, possibly 5 glasses a month and i am not taking the medication for the wrong reasons anymore, but after everything that happened to me I was diagnosed with Anxiety, Bipolar, and Insomnia.
My advice is don't OVER DOING ANYTHING as it never leads to a positive situation something is never a good thing..... but if you take concentration and responsibility for your actions THEN GO AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE, YOU ONLY HAVE ONE, AND IT IS CONSTANTLY just slipping away underneath our feet because of our over active life styles.......
But the good news is we have been broken up for almost 2 years and i have stayed single and he is one of my good friends and we are still running the company together and he made me allot wiser for the next person ;). .....trying to see a silver lining